Marion Earle, the one-armed office manager/mermaid.
We’ve been searching for a fairly long time to showcase the exploits of the Zombietree Trust, and Marion’s specifically requested that her product be invented by the undead. So it was just a matter of getting an undead research team together and giving them clearly defined, yet vaguely threatening, instructions. There’s been a great deal of tension between the Roboshrub and the Zombietrees since the hostile takeover in 2004, but this joint venture allowed both sides to bury the hatchet.
The research team, led by my one-armed undead cousin.
And where that hatched landed, a new concept was born: the idea of “Zero Compression Space.” Postulated by long-zombified mathematician Bark Pineman, the theory states that the shortest distance between two points is always zero, since any two points in our space occupy the same position in another universe. By punching a hole through the very fabric of reality, our zombie team was able to bring office design to a whole new level.
“Manila folders go on this side of hole in space. Me want brains!”
The Permanent Paper Clip adheres to any solid surface. Upon placement, the clip will fold the space continuum onto itself, pocketing your most precious office documents in a parallel micro-universe, preventing all future access. Due to the temporal differences involved in the transition, do not use carbon paper or paper that has been exposed to liquid. For best results, do not attempt to use two Permanent Paper Clips on the same document.