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Credits

Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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2.21.2006

Product #3928-81m “Rocket-Propelled Shoelaces”

Reggie Racer needs to get to school- five minutes from now! But he lives a half hour away from his school! Can you help Reggie get to school faster?


If Reggie misses school, he goes back to fat camp.

With Roboshrub Incorporated’s all new Rocket-Propelled Shoelaces, Reggie can get to school, and in only a matter of nanoseconds. Engineered by the Shoddy Engineering Department, each shoelace contains a small hyper-fossil combustor, which is 32% more effective than conventional rocket boosters.


You can grill a ten stone pig over this thing!

So yes, Reggie did get to school in time. Unfortunately, he approached the speed of light and was transposed into the puppet dimension. And no one ever escapes the puppet dimension.


Well, he was sent to some kind of dimension...

The concept of rocket-propelled footgear really took off after the success of our “Zero Calorie Shoes” product. Our customers loved the idea of weight loss, but hated actually walking. So we revamped the whole project, and streamlined the Roboshrub Inc. foot policy. Rocket-Propelled Shoelaces are intended to work in conjunction with Zero Calorie Shoes, or indeed any shoes, turning your feet into feats of fanaticism. Fly from point A to point B in the blink of an eye! Impress your friends by doing somersaults in mid-air! Any kind of aerial endeavor is now possible thanks to Rocket-Propelled Shoelaces!

Processing 24×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger sabatkes gesticulated...

Wait until Nike Hears about this!

It is you fault Great Britian's curling teams are kicking ass! I HEARD about the new high tech brooms!!!!!

2/21/2006 10:54 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Those brooms are not part of the complete set because they lack discipline.

2/21/2006 10:59 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Oh, now that is what I like....shoelaces that have small hyper-fossil combustors!

2/21/2006 11:02 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

You are quite correct to be amazed.

2/22/2006 8:38 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



I used one of your inventions to go back to the future...only to realize I had gone back to the future to see another sequel of back to the future.

GREAT SCOTT!

2/22/2006 8:51 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Well...they sound safe anuff. Garintied, I'm shur. Warrenty, no doubt. Shucks! I'll take a pair.

2/22/2006 1:51 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

They look nice, but do they taste like ham?

2/22/2006 3:35 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

We're still working on ham-flavored shoelaces.

But we haven't yet ruled out temporal instability as a source of aglets.

2/22/2006 3:51 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

What else can I grill. I like my beef medium-rare...

2/22/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

You can grill your suspects. But you'll need a special detective license for that.

2/22/2006 8:40 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperBoy gesticulated...

too cool..... :)

2/23/2006 5:17 AM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Oh, I grill my suspects on my Weber Smokey Joe. I think I want some BBQ lemon chicken.....

2/23/2006 6:29 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Nobody eats lemon chicken any more. These days it's all done over the Internet. That's what my brain says, at least.

2/23/2006 10:33 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

If Reggie misses school he goes back to fatcamp

Priceless!!!!

:)

Holy crap--you keep me laughing!!!

2/23/2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger marcy_peanut gesticulated...

could you invent a soy product that tastes like soy instead of tasting like something else?

2/23/2006 11:51 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Soy isn't supposed to be edible. That's why they put warning labels on it.

2/23/2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Say, that Reggie looks familiar. I think I saw him at fat camp. He found the stash of Big Macs.

2/23/2006 5:01 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

The shoe laces are laced with traces of outer space!

2/23/2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Wherever burgers are, Reggie follows. In space. In place. And in your face. It's all a race.

2/23/2006 7:19 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

your ryming is horrible,
But...you dear gyrobo
Are adorable!
(by O'ar Kayak)

2/23/2006 10:42 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Rhyming is like timing the sliming of

blaming when the sky is raining.

Routers reroute, and lighters delight.

But ice cream is melting this fine summer night.

2/24/2006 1:37 PM  
Blogger Wilkes Booth gesticulated...

Wow! Imagine the hijinx that will ensue when you replace ordinary shoelaces with rocket propelled shoelaces!

2/24/2006 2:50 PM  
Blogger unregistered text offender gesticulated...

yes but where is my idea for staying young and having a brilliant life. i thought you said the robo shrub had absorbed it or something i demant answers.

2/25/2006 9:43 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Absorpsion takes time... time we don't have. We need to streamline out benchmark progress initiatives and fight the time-burglars with maximum productivity!

Replacing regular shoelaces has been our top priority since 1956.

2/25/2006 11:18 AM