“Jeffy, come down from there at once!”
To answer your first question, yes, Ham-Flavored Bubble Gum is completely kosher. We at Roboshrub Inc. have tried to recreate the aroma and flavor of ham by combining several fatty acids and peptones found to be naturally occurring in plants and in animals other than pigs. Failing to do that, we reverse genetically engineered human clones into a pig-like form, and ground them up to provide the zesty tang in every chew. While this has been called “cannibalistic,” “amoral,” and also “not kosher” by every religious and governmental body on Earth, we believe that we acted fully within the realm of the possible.
Synthetic pig-men are 100% kosher.
Ham-Flavored Bubble Gum contains synthetic food coloring and artificial flavoring. As with all Roboshrub Incorporated products, it is sugar based and has a high fat content. No humans or pigs were harmed in the manufacture of this product, although many, many thousands of pig-men were butchered to provide all-natural taste. Sold in both tablet and roll strip form. For more information about the nutritional content of Ham-Flavored Bubble Gum, contact Jeffy the Wonder Dog at his palace in downtown Detroit.