Product #1412-71j “Cardboard Hull Plating”

A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters, if given enough time, will type the entire works of Shakespeare. So, when the IABSC (Intercontinental Association of Burly Sea Captains) asked us to design a hull plating, we followed the monkey model, with slight changes. Instead of a thousand typewriters, we used 46 high-end Apple Cubes, utilized by 133 pygmy marmosets.

The Intercontinental Association of Burly Sea Captains.

To keep in line with Roboshrub Incorporated’s strict imadnization process (imagination and madness combined), an ungodly amount of riboflavin was introduced to the marmoset’s immune systems. We quickly realized how unwise this was, but by the time our Primate Pacification Squad arrived, all they could do was direct the janitor to clean the blood and banana yogurt off the monitors.

Fortunately, our Chief Product Debugger, Hans Friedrich, noted that shortly before their mysterious demise (at least that’s what the animal rights groups believe), the marmosets entered the correct number of quarks present in one kiloton of neutronium. From that data, top scientists were able to extrapolate that the best kind of hull plating for seafaring vessels would be cardboard-based.

Capable of zero permeability and infinite density!

Cardboard Hull Plating is meant solely for use by trained burly sea captains. Misuse of hull plating results in rash, fireburns, uncontrollable falling down syndrome (UFDS), and nutrient deficiency. Roboshrub Inc. cannot be held liable for cargo lost to iceberg or pirate related incidents. Do not use near open flames.