When Hans Friedrich, our last Chief Product Debugger, was hauled off to the asylum after going insane from the amount of work we forced him to do (and also from the psychological trauma associated with Toxic Umbrella Shock Syndrome [TUSS]), he begged us to let Project Umbrella Corp. die. Instead, we completely ignored him and hired a new Chief Debugger. An exhaustive worldwide search uncovered the only being in the universe capable of testing such a dangerous product: my cousin, the undead one-armed robot/clown from Antarctica.
He really has a way with customers.
Only the supercharged immune system of an undead robot can survive the rigors involved with the Solar Powered Umbrella. This was discovered after the near-fatal lightning mishap last year involving Chief Debugger Friedrich. Hee hee, he thought he wouldn’t get struck by lightning! Well, he did. His whole body was scarred by the electric burns, and the bad publicity almost bankrupted us. But thanks to loyal customers who are unfazed by or unaware of our safety record, we have been able to bring Mr. Friedrich’s dream to fruition: a Solar Powered Umbrella in every house.
Our customers love us, even when we replace their hands with flamethrowers.
The Solar Powered Umbrella has a metallic shaft, composed of 35% iron, 25% manganese, 20% copper, 15% cobalt, and 5% people. The new “Mach II” design allows for complete aerodynamic grip. The webbing of the umbrella is a silk-thetic polymer approximating the atomic structure of pleather. Millions of photo-voltaic cells are sewn right into the webbing, allowing the power core to recharge continually.
It continually absorbs sunlight through its power cells.
Like many Roboshrub Inc. products, as well as your mind, the Solar Powered Umbrella will only work when open. Replacement spokes are available strictly on a need-to-know basis. Do not expose the Solar Powered Umbrella to inclement weather, as this damages the OC-1900 energy conversion capacitor. Roboshrub Inc. cannot be held liable for intense electric shocks associated with this product. The Solar Powered Umbrella is meant for entertainment purposes only. Do not ingest. Machine washable.
He really has a way with customers.
Only the supercharged immune system of an undead robot can survive the rigors involved with the Solar Powered Umbrella. This was discovered after the near-fatal lightning mishap last year involving Chief Debugger Friedrich. Hee hee, he thought he wouldn’t get struck by lightning! Well, he did. His whole body was scarred by the electric burns, and the bad publicity almost bankrupted us. But thanks to loyal customers who are unfazed by or unaware of our safety record, we have been able to bring Mr. Friedrich’s dream to fruition: a Solar Powered Umbrella in every house.
Our customers love us, even when we replace their hands with flamethrowers.
The Solar Powered Umbrella has a metallic shaft, composed of 35% iron, 25% manganese, 20% copper, 15% cobalt, and 5% people. The new “Mach II” design allows for complete aerodynamic grip. The webbing of the umbrella is a silk-thetic polymer approximating the atomic structure of pleather. Millions of photo-voltaic cells are sewn right into the webbing, allowing the power core to recharge continually.
It continually absorbs sunlight through its power cells.
Like many Roboshrub Inc. products, as well as your mind, the Solar Powered Umbrella will only work when open. Replacement spokes are available strictly on a need-to-know basis. Do not expose the Solar Powered Umbrella to inclement weather, as this damages the OC-1900 energy conversion capacitor. Roboshrub Inc. cannot be held liable for intense electric shocks associated with this product. The Solar Powered Umbrella is meant for entertainment purposes only. Do not ingest. Machine washable.
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Sometimes I swear my umbrella has a mind of its own.
Sometimes I get the eeire feeling that the head I'm sheltering might actually be sentient!
Your animation keeps getting better and better!
How about a solar powered gas engine? The power of the sun ignites the gas....the gas powers the engine....meanwhile the sun stares down angrily realizing that man came so close to re-usable energy.
can i join ur undead army?
There is no undead army. The undead who work for Roboshrub Inc. have been carefully selected and then assigned to our Antarctican base of operations, the Zombietree Trust.
Solar powered gas engines are second in priority to the solar powered toothbrush to replace the poorly selling hydrogen toothbrush.
You know what they say about animation: it builds a nation.
Umbrellas frequently attain sentience. Some moreso than others.
My word verification thingey has the word "spy" in it! Happy!
I too am meant for entertainment purposes only.
We should get along SMASHINGLY, this umbrella and I. SO long as it doesn't gain sentience.
That would be a deathknell to our friendship.
Unless it gained sentience along with an irrepressible urge to quaff mead. That would be okay.
Ack! (sorry, hairball) you've trggered my 'Coulrophobia'.
I musta been retarded last nite??? Where is this 4,000 thing coming from? Don't scare me like that.
Ya know, the 'user stats' thing is totally legitimate.
How's that for sentience?
Sentience is relative. Just like selling organs over the Internet because you can. I mean, what's the point in having an apendix if you can't sell it to some guy in Norway?
Umbrellas aren't supposed to be sentient, but neither are pop starts.
I kid you not, one time it was so windy that when I tried to take our desk umbrella in, it almost carried my away. I'm better now.
Hey, the word verification says nxpwbr!
Wait just a darn minute there Mr. Gyro! I can't be using no dirty umbrella now, and if I can't machine wash the dang thing it aint gonna do me much good confined to a corner of garage where I keep all the other dirty things!
Umbrellas are sticky rivers.
We tried that in the 80s with disasterous results. Ever wonder what started the rubix cube craze?
I once had the idea for a Solar Powered Flashlight. It wasn't nearly as useful as your umbrella though.
Does it come with a cloud design. I only carry umbrellas that have clouds on them.
I suppose the photovoltaic cells could be arranged into a cloud pattern. I'd need to talk it over with Development.
And we abandoned solar powered flashlights in favor of nuclear lite brite over a decade ago.
pop sstarts? You are stuttering my robot friend. It's 'pop tarts'. You don't need an apendix. You need some new AA's. :)
No. Pop starts is a new kind of pop tart. Made especially for breakfast, start your day off right with a pop start.
Gotta be glad it isn't Poop Tarts.
Do they have bacon flavored Pop Starts?
Pop Starts only come in "Eggs n' Bacon" blueberry.
'Poop starts' are for old people who talk about their bowel movements every morning.
'Pop starts' should have Goose-berrys in them.<-----Get it!! Ha Ha.
Poke Salad Annie said, "Those are 'Poke starts'.
Ingenius! To think I could power my Blackberry and send E-mails outside in the rain WHERE THERE IS LITTLE SUN!!!!!
Here at Sal & Company, we make USEFUL products.
There's always room for a little unhealthy competition.
Similar, yes. Different, yes.
I love the flame thrower hand :)