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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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I Am Become Water

I am a drop of water. Ah, it’s nice sitting in the ocean. The saline level is perfect; the temperature is nice and cool. Argh! It’s a fish! Phew, it swam away! Now there’s nothing to do but relax. Hmmm, it’s getting a little hotter. The sun is rising in the sky, and all of my friends are flying away. Wait, that makes no sense. How can water fly? Whoa, I’m starting to fly! My molecules are coming apart. Can’t… stay… together… Noooo!

What a horrible day! Everything was going right, then all of a sudden, I was pulled apart, and sent into the frigid atmosphere. Yet, I remain conscious. Now what’s happening? I’m— I’m starting to condense. I— I’m freezing! It’s so cold up here in the stratosphere. I thought I might make it to the Thermosphere, but that’s just too high up. My remaining molecules are bonding with other evaporated drops of water— I’m coming back into existence! Strange, a pattern is forming on my surface. Wait, I never had a surface, I’m a liquid! But, it seems that the air here is so cold that I’ve left my gaseous form and become a solid. Whoa! I’m falling! I’m flying through the air very fast toward the ground. Somebody help me! Ouch, I hit the ground. No, this isn’t the ground, it’s…

Home! I’m home! Somehow I turned back into a water droplet and found my way home. It’s incredible! I fought my way through the air, the cold, and got home safe and sound. Hey, my friends are flying up into the— no wait! Not again!

I never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Processing 14×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Mint Tea Mystic gesticulated...

I know what you mean. Last Thursday I was an ATP molecule. I was part of some grass, then a rabbit, then a weasel, and then finally I got to the lion stage, only for the damn thing to choke and turn into mold.

12/08/2005 2:09 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Roboshrub? Is that you?

12/08/2005 2:14 PM  
Blogger Kay Ray gesticulated...

I'm freezing here in TX.. sounds like you had a rough ride

12/08/2005 4:19 PM  
Blogger Cabe gesticulated...

I chew robotic tobacco. I have no teeth.

12/08/2005 7:18 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Sounds like my day. & my tomorrow & the next day.
I am jealous of your writing, you are so damn good! Must be a robot talent? I know of no other robot writers.
Hey Cabe you redneck, that was funny!

12/08/2005 7:45 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Good friends, good conversation...

Good times.

12/08/2005 8:42 PM  
Blogger Friends of McDougal gesticulated...

Yo, robo ...

I know we've only just begun.

But a pal just started a new blog.

Can you go makehim feel welcome to the blogosphere?

I'm trying to overwhelm him at the sense of community round these parts.

12/08/2005 9:09 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Posts in only 49 words? Inspired!

He shall be blogrolled!

12/08/2005 9:20 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

First of all, Roboshrub, I think Gyrobo is on to you!!! ;)

Now, GYROBOCOP--this post was spectacular! I have to teach the water cycle in science class. I always tell the kids to pretend that the water that they swim in at the lake gets evaporated, becomes a cloud, travels over the Atlantic Ocean, and then turns into rain over Spain. The droplets of rain land in a lake that fourth grade kids are swimming in. Therefore, these kids are more or less swimming in the same lake water that they were just a couple of days ago. (I know the time period and distance that the cloud travels is a stretch...but it makes my point.)

I might like to use your story next year. May I??

12/08/2005 9:20 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The children have a right to know.

12/08/2005 9:26 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Yes, did you see me fly? I was the one right next to you! I got home safely too...Please stay with me tonight, that was a little scary!

12/08/2005 10:05 PM  
Blogger Mint Tea Mystic gesticulated...

No, I'm not Roboshrub. But I can see the confusion. I'm a close personal friend of the guy.

Rather than hang out or do regular friend crap, I post on his blog... and those in his little circle, as I see fit.

E-friendship is so much easier than actually talking to people... a little less satisfying, though.

12/08/2005 10:39 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Why just post comments? We can make you a contributor on this blog, if you'd supply an e-mail address, Señor Mystic.

12/09/2005 9:04 AM  
Blogger Maskatron gesticulated...

>Unit struggles to breach internet poetry market

>Please accept poetry submission for robot weblog:

I once met a robotic cow
Grazing the scrap yards of Sp'irGow.
Four stomachs he had
And was simply mad
For robo-tabacco--and how!

>Gratitutde to Cabe-unit for robotic inspiriation

12/09/2005 11:33 AM