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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Let Me Control Your Reality

Utux farfel p'kil gef!

*waves hands*

You've got a problem, and I'm the only guy that can help you. With my magic, I shall craft for you a priceless vase that holds powers within. This vase will be 10 meters in diameter, and its composition will be marble, iron, and fine porcelain. Before I release you into the wild, you need to be aware of the limitation of the charm I'm about to cast on you. You can't just, like, walk ten miles in the snow to get a hickory stick. It's not done that way. Firstly, take off your shoes. Then I can cast the spell. It's more of a charm, really. The vase will come in handy during phase II. You see, I've already enchanted the vase. When placed under a full moon, it turns from a non-sapient vase into a beautiful yacht. This yacht is a hover-yacht, capable of speeds of up to 45 mph on solid land and 400 knots at sea. Nominally, the hover-yacht is only for oceanic usage.

This lack of butterscotch candies is making me upset. I must take my leave of you and replenish my powers under the cover of darkness... by stealing a nuclear plant. Yes, only the power generated by an entire nuclear plant can cure me of my lethargy. Until then, I can only throw this at you. Never tell anyone where you got that video. Or I'll send you to Senator McCain. I seen ten kids go into his pool. And I seen nine come out. I ain't sayin' what I think is down there, but I'll leave it up to you. It weren't no pool toy, I can tell you that.


Processing 14×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Phil gesticulated...

Karl! You stole my paper.

And I've got something of yours.

3/04/2006 7:34 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

That's a pretty cool gadget, but I've already got an Oracile of Orwellia

3/04/2006 9:27 PM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer gesticulated...

I steal only what I cannot afford, or choose not to spend money on.

3/04/2006 10:40 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperBoy gesticulated...

i took off my shoes only to have them stolen :( can u send me a pair of squeeky baby shoes?

3/05/2006 5:25 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

That's what I'm talkin' about!

3/05/2006 8:37 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Roboshrub Inc. will send you a steaming pile of Zero Calorie Shoes right off the assembly line.

Wat'cho talkin' 'bout, Charu?

3/05/2006 2:30 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Gosh, I'm gone for a couple of days and I come back to realize that all hell has broken loose??

Did we ever figure out what the "H" in Jesus H. Christ stands for??


3/05/2006 4:56 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

The secret is as safe as someone hunting with Dick Cheney.

3/05/2006 7:40 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

That doesn't sound very safe, Salbert!

3/05/2006 8:35 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

That was the DIRTIEST French erotic film I've ever seen!

Now I'm going to have to train the marshmallows all over again (the obstacle course exploded).

3/05/2006 11:11 PM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

mmm, butterscotch. you guys rule.

3/06/2006 5:35 AM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer gesticulated...

As a sorcerer, I have the distinct pleasure of knowing all kinds of things about the world you live in. The "H" stands for haploid, refering to the fact that he only had one set of human chromosomes.

Normal people have two. I rest my case.

3/06/2006 8:40 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

I'm here to say good-by little robo guy, I'm going to miss you alot!! In a few days I'll no longer be blogging. (More explanation on my site) I could always come here for a lift to my spirits. You can make me laugh like no other person can. I don't think I'll ever in my life meet anyone like you. I think you have a great future in something. :)

See ya in the funny papers!!!
P.S. I'm keeping a picture of baby-bot to remember you by.

3/06/2006 11:33 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Vroooooooooooooo! Auooogh! Muuuuuuuuh!

3/06/2006 1:25 PM