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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Apparatus Ex Victus

As the official Roboshrub Inc. spokesbot, it is my job to inform you as to the status of our currency and the limitlessness of our outer limits. Thus, I, Rick Anonymi, speaketh to you from the depths of my hard drive. I bring to you now the life and times of one of the robotic drones that services our corporation, as seen through its own eyes.

Bleeep! Beeep! Bop. Click. Whir.... processing.... beep! Beep! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeep! Whir. Cleeeeee! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeep! Boop! Booooooop! Beep! Whir....

Click. Click, click, click. Beeeeeeeep! Bzzzzzz. Bzz. Beep! 010101111000011! Bitwise processing... Beep! Beeeeeeeep! Be- be- boop! Boooop! Whir. Glick. Click. P'tchoo! P'kaw! Beeeeeeeep! Beep! Luuuuuuuzzzzz! Gleep! Cl-zzzzzz....

Leeeeeep! Bleeeeep! Gleeeeeeep! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Boop. Beep. Boooooop! Booop. Click. Whir... click. 01000001110 retry.

Bzzz. Bzzzz. Beeep! Beeeeeeeep! Boop! Click. Bzzzzzzzzz.... retry. Accccccessssssing.... click. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeep! Clieeeck! Vrrrrr! Vrrrrroooom! Beeeeep! Sw-klikliklikli. Beep. Boop. Beep!

Eeeeeeeeeee! Eeeee. Beeep! Beep. Boop. Beep. Beeeep! Boop. Boop. Boop. Zeeeeeeeboop! Beeep! Beep! Beep! Bzzzz.... Reprocessing.... Fatal error drive C. Fail. Fail. Fail.

Processing 23×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Boop bee bop whir click

3/06/2006 9:01 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I second that emotion!

3/06/2006 10:35 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I love the one of him holding a q-tip!
I had an aligator in my backyard once when I lived in South Florida! :)

3/06/2006 11:59 PM  
Blogger Anifanatic gesticulated...

whirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl beep beep.

3/07/2006 1:55 AM  
Blogger The Watcher gesticulated...

I've been watching all this unfold....fascninating!

3/07/2006 9:18 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Fascinating is as fascinating does. The fascinations are legion; Beep! Beeeeep! Meep! Boop! Whir....

That Q-Tip picture is actually how I found that robot. He tries so hard... a shame he mysteriously disappeared one day.

3/07/2006 10:14 AM  
Blogger flu gesticulated...

How on just a sec...

"Bzzz. Bzzzz. Beeep! Beeeeeeeep! Boop! Click. Bzzzzzzzzz.... retry. Accccccessssssing.... click. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeep! Clieeeck! Vrrrrr! Vrrrrroooom! Beeeeep! Sw-klikliklikli. Beep. Boop. Beep!"???

Are you serious? And just how do you suppose that came to be, huh? well, I'll tell ya! By supreme exploitation of the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. Oh! Come and see the constipated alligator!

3/07/2006 10:28 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Only by ruthlessly exploiting the robotic drones that work for us can we bring you such hamazing porkducts like Ham-Flavored Bubble Gum.

3/07/2006 10:52 AM  
Blogger TheHamburger gesticulated...

You guys just need to go to Afghanistan with those cotton swabs and start running shit. Fuck American Gladiators, power to the bots!

3/07/2006 11:11 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Faceless drones armed only with Q-Tips can topple whole empires. Look at Star Wars!

3/07/2006 11:17 AM  
Blogger flu gesticulated...

wait, ham-flavored bubble gum? Seriously?


My paradigm has shifted. I guess that imperialistic dogma isn't as outdated as I thought...

3/07/2006 11:29 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Yes. I was speaking, of course, of Product #2348-02h.

3/07/2006 11:55 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Man, it's just like Zelig, but with the aforementioned ham-flavored bubblegum!

3/07/2006 12:10 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

There can be only one response:


3/07/2006 3:37 PM  
Blogger Private Hudson gesticulated...

You want me to shoot it?

Either the aligator or the robot, it doesn't matter, which.

3/07/2006 9:17 PM  
Blogger TheHamburger gesticulated...

You are very right gyrobo...very right

3/07/2006 9:54 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I'm always right. That's part of the definition of my existence.

3/07/2006 10:12 PM  
Blogger marcy_peanut gesticulated...

i second that motion: Gyrobocop is ALWAYS right! And I should know, because I'm never wrong!! it kosher for a vegetarian to leave a comment in the same section as a 'hamburger'?

I don't know...

I guess it's apparant that you are not a very adept crocodile wrangler. Better not quit your day job, robuddy.

3/08/2006 5:45 PM  
Blogger BooTCaT gesticulated...

Meoooooooooow , i love it man ,

3/11/2006 11:21 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...


3/11/2006 11:32 PM  
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11/18/2009 9:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous gesticulated...

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12/30/2009 9:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous gesticulated...

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