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12.13.2005

World War II— What the Textbooks Won’t Tell You

It all began in Spain when Rock n’ Roll was invented, thus starting the Spanish civil war. Then there was the lend-lease act, in which FDR agreed to give England exclusive rights to all future World War II movies.

Mobilizing the American army was easy, because many people volunteered. This was due to the fact that movie stars (subliminally) told them to. After Japan attacked the United States, Germany declared war. It didn’t have to, though, because it was not required in the treaty between Japan and Germany that Germany should do... that...

Anyway, Japan was thrilled that Germany had declared war on the United States, and immediately started attacking Canada. During the war, Roosevelt wanted people to see what was being fought over. He commissioned artist Norman Rockwell to make four paintings depicting what Americans were fighting against. They were called the “four fears”: Fear of Fascism, Fear from Death, Fear of Communism, and Fear of Foreigners.

Hershey's secret KISS marines.

The United States fought the war alone, ignoring other countries that offered help. The attitude of the day was to fight Japan first, and then go after Germany. The important thing to remember is that 1942 was a disaster for the allies. The Japanese captured the Dutch East Indies, famous for combining Dutch chocolate with island song to create the world’s #1 (at that time) tropical hotel paradise. The war was different from the previous one mostly because of the aerial and submarine capabilities of the Germans. What made this truly a world war was the fact that fighting took place throughout the world. Not just in Europe, but also in colonial imperial possessions. To create the illusion of peace and stability in the conquered French part of North Africa, Roosevelt set up a provisional government led by Admiral Jean Darlan. Darlan was a fine, upstanding example of humanitarianism. He treated all those he worked with equally and helped bring peace to the war-torn former colonial possession. However, the man who led the North African campaign was another story. Dwight Eisenhower grew up in a huge city, and hated everyone. He fought bravely in the First World War, though, and so was given the honorary title of “Sir”.

Operation Overmind was the name given to a monotonous cyborg that won the war. It was a huge beast, approximately ten feet tall and weighing over seven pounds. It was amphibious and invaded Normandy on June 6, 1944. After the war, the Overmind retired and wrote a hugely popular novel. It changed its name throughout the years and is now known as Donkey Kong.

Eisenhower's DeathSphere converts matter into pure oxygen.

Roosevelt had a master plan that he used throughout the war. It helped to make the war extremely winnable, and less then five years after the war started, peace talks were held. The peace conference at Yalta ensured that Guam paid full war reparations to the Empire of Doom, but the most important thing to come from the conference was the eventual creation of the United Nations. The purpose of the United Nations was to prevent huge world wars by provoking little defenseless countries into fighting each other. Then the atomic bomb went off and the war ended.

Processing 18×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I just wanted to tell you that I have dropped by, but am dead tired. I will come by tomorrow and read when I can open my eyes better. Night!

12/13/2005 11:42 PM  
Blogger josh williams gesticulated...

Thats pretty much how I remember it, the facts are all in line with the evidence. Lets not let this get out to the public, best we keep it on the QT. anonymous x 2!

12/13/2005 11:48 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Herhsey KISS marines?? This is too funny. And yes, I, too, was merely strolling the shrubbery before heading off to bed. Therefore, like Lee Ann, I will see you tomorrow.

Hershey kiss men....you kill me everytime!!

12/14/2005 12:01 AM  
Blogger Cabe gesticulated...

I'd fight for the KISS Army.

Rofl.

12/14/2005 12:42 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I had no idea so many people frequented my blog around midnight.

12/14/2005 8:45 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Tis funny as hell! Also very accurate I'm sure. Took me a sec. to get the ten foot pole referance & it floats! Thank you for making history interesting

12/14/2005 9:34 AM  
Blogger angel, jr. gesticulated...

Funny.

12/14/2005 10:58 AM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

greeting fellow mechaniman. i havnt been on earth long, but i like the whores and drugs. your blog is most useful for me in catching up in all the history i've missed. did this donkey kong have the power of transformation? if not humans are punier than i thought.

my lungs hurt.

12/14/2005 11:00 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Hey I saw a blurb this morning about an old movie where Mechanic-Kong fights King Kong. A robot gaint ape, now thats funny.

12/14/2005 12:07 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

I'm glad you straightened all that out for me!

12/14/2005 1:06 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I found that extremely interesting! I only have one question....
About the cyborg, a huge beast, approximately ten feet tall and weighing over seven pounds.
"only 7 pounds"?

12/14/2005 1:20 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Well, it was made of dark matter. That stuff is so dense, it weighs practically nothing.

12/14/2005 1:52 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

And yes, Operation Overmind A.K.A. Donkey Kong had transformational powers. That's how he infiltrated the Japanese mafia during the battle of New York.

12/14/2005 1:54 PM  
Blogger ~Deb gesticulated...

Oregon chick here...(ha)

Those Kiss marines are mighty fine!

And Lee Ann, those 10 ft tall people weighing only 7 lbs, they're out there wearing those low rider jeans showing off EVERYTHING--- it's the new trend these days.

If only I can gain more 'height', I'd be the perfect weight.

Never mind.

Back to your regular scheduled programming...............

12/14/2005 2:36 PM  
Blogger ~Deb gesticulated...

And gyrobo--you got the midnight lurkers too?

12/14/2005 2:36 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

you dum-dums those are ten foot poles. I told ya, already. 10 feet 7lbs. & float, get it?

12/14/2005 7:38 PM  
Blogger Kay Ray gesticulated...

since you visited my blog and know all the nonsense I post about.. this was a breath of fresh air.. ok kay ray.. u can breathe now!!

Very informative and makes me want to go back in time... gyrobo?? wheres my tazzer????

12/14/2005 8:06 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

The purpose of the United Nations was to prevent huge world wars by provoking little defenseless countries into fighting each other. Then the atomic bomb went off and the war ended.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, nuke 'm.

Lest I jest, this was a fabulous post, Gyrobotic Hamster. The only reason I keep asking whether you are in college or not is because I am hoping that if you ARE in college, that you are studying something that will show-off your incredible writing and artistic talents. You're just brilliant.

12/15/2005 7:05 AM