World War II— What the Textbooks Won’t Tell You

It all began in Spain when Rock n’ Roll was invented, thus starting the Spanish civil war. Then there was the lend-lease act, in which FDR agreed to give England exclusive rights to all future World War II movies.

Mobilizing the American army was easy, because many people volunteered. This was due to the fact that movie stars (subliminally) told them to. After Japan attacked the United States, Germany declared war. It didn’t have to, though, because it was not required in the treaty between Japan and Germany that Germany should do... that...

Anyway, Japan was thrilled that Germany had declared war on the United States, and immediately started attacking Canada. During the war, Roosevelt wanted people to see what was being fought over. He commissioned artist Norman Rockwell to make four paintings depicting what Americans were fighting against. They were called the “four fears”: Fear of Fascism, Fear from Death, Fear of Communism, and Fear of Foreigners.

Hershey's secret KISS marines.

The United States fought the war alone, ignoring other countries that offered help. The attitude of the day was to fight Japan first, and then go after Germany. The important thing to remember is that 1942 was a disaster for the allies. The Japanese captured the Dutch East Indies, famous for combining Dutch chocolate with island song to create the world’s #1 (at that time) tropical hotel paradise. The war was different from the previous one mostly because of the aerial and submarine capabilities of the Germans. What made this truly a world war was the fact that fighting took place throughout the world. Not just in Europe, but also in colonial imperial possessions. To create the illusion of peace and stability in the conquered French part of North Africa, Roosevelt set up a provisional government led by Admiral Jean Darlan. Darlan was a fine, upstanding example of humanitarianism. He treated all those he worked with equally and helped bring peace to the war-torn former colonial possession. However, the man who led the North African campaign was another story. Dwight Eisenhower grew up in a huge city, and hated everyone. He fought bravely in the First World War, though, and so was given the honorary title of “Sir”.

Operation Overmind was the name given to a monotonous cyborg that won the war. It was a huge beast, approximately ten feet tall and weighing over seven pounds. It was amphibious and invaded Normandy on June 6, 1944. After the war, the Overmind retired and wrote a hugely popular novel. It changed its name throughout the years and is now known as Donkey Kong.

Eisenhower's DeathSphere converts matter into pure oxygen.

Roosevelt had a master plan that he used throughout the war. It helped to make the war extremely winnable, and less then five years after the war started, peace talks were held. The peace conference at Yalta ensured that Guam paid full war reparations to the Empire of Doom, but the most important thing to come from the conference was the eventual creation of the United Nations. The purpose of the United Nations was to prevent huge world wars by provoking little defenseless countries into fighting each other. Then the atomic bomb went off and the war ended.