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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Exit Strategy

As you may or may not know, my dreaded foe, the mighty OneStar, has begun to move his Armada Automata into striking distance of the Roboshrub Incorporated headquarters. Only a true military genius could find a way to gain a tactical advantage on a building that exists outside of space and time, and OneStar is sadly the greatest genius I have ever encountered. He is as ruthless as any robot, with the royal blood of a French king.

He’s the reason puppies die.

After a ten week campaign to besmirch his good name, the Roboshrub Incorporated leadership network (henceforth referred to as the “hive”) decided that the best way to approach the Armada Automata would be by creating hidden corporate bases on worlds outside OneStar’s jurisdiction. The Hive’s presumption here being that OneStar is deathly afraid of space travel. Despite my initial misgivings, I openly embraced the interstellar exploration and colonization/corporatization initiative after I was hand-picked by the Hive to lead the expedition.

I totally claimed a planet today.

The world my team has decided upon has a breathable atmosphere, which we consider a plus as most of our customers/serfs enjoy breathing oxygen. It has been named “Elim’s Hideaway” after minor Star Trek: Deep Space 9 character Elim Garak, played by Andrew Robinson. Roboshrub Inc. did not receive permission from either Paramount or Mr. Robinson to use a derivative of their character, so it’s entirely possible that the planet will revert to its original name, “Sweat Sock 5.” The Hive has decided to put off any action regarding the imminent invasion of the Armada Automata pending the proper naming of the planet, which is technically a moon.

Processing 17×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I knew he'd betray us.

4/09/2006 4:59 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Congrats on colonizing a new planet, or moon.

4/09/2006 8:13 AM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

So he's French, they also lose wars. I don't see the big deal at all. The Sal & Company Ltd. HQ has an expansive campus with unparalelled protection. No biggie.

4/09/2006 12:24 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

The armada is paying double wages. I'm in!

4/09/2006 1:13 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Our moon is 34% better than Mars- on a Saturday. At night. Behind a refrigerator.

4/09/2006 1:26 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

"Sweat Sock 5" might get you into trouble with the old Welcome Back Kotter franchise.


4/09/2006 1:56 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I have a plan. It includes blowing up the Death Star. I will need ten thousand fighters, and a few Jedi Knights. I've run out of funds so I'm requesting a check from the hive.

4/09/2006 2:39 PM  
Blogger sabatkes gesticulated...

Can I see the planet? Is there Brie on this planet? Baugettes? Pomme frites? Anyone???

XP is behaving- but have not loaded norton yet.....

4/09/2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Roboshrub Inc. has no Jedis to spare. We depleted our reserve during the Frosted Flake crisis of 2002.

But the planet/moon will indeed be a paradise, housing our most elaborate projects and providing our experiments with a safe haven in which to propogate.

4/09/2006 3:03 PM  
Blogger Anifanatic gesticulated...

It's easy. Convert your Jello factory and use corn meal instead of latex, and you've got yourself a bonified Jedi Factory.

4/09/2006 7:12 PM  
Blogger The Taker of Gist gesticulated...

A base on a moon? Never! You can't control the weather element! No one can. I know because I tried it on a series of several failed attempts. I don't think I have to tell you why they failed.

4/09/2006 9:14 PM  
Blogger Gabriel gesticulated...

Hey, red and blue eyes means he can watch 3d movies without glasses!!

4/10/2006 12:01 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Watching 3D movies is the easy part. I want to direct!

4/10/2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger Private Hudson gesticulated...

Gist, of course people can control the weather, remember when Destro had the Weather Dominator and G.I.Joe had to fight Cobra to get it?

4/10/2006 3:22 PM  
Blogger The Taker of Gist gesticulated...

Cobra ain't got nothin' on me.

4/10/2006 3:53 PM  
Blogger Captain Berk gesticulated...

I own Sweat Sock 4.

I won it off a Ferengi in a game of poker.

Hello neighbour!

4/11/2006 10:22 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

So I guess the real test is to see who can claim Sweat Sock 1-3.

My money's on Bono.

4/11/2006 11:05 AM