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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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I one day thought I’d ill-invent
a word as dumb as “cromulent,”
used only by the corpulent.

So with a little effort dealt,
my brainpan thus began to melt,
split synapses a sanding belt,
each burning thought a painful welt.

And out of that psychotic vent
there came a word all mangled, bent;
its mere existence begged, “repent!”

Yet over time my word did flow
throughout the land, from high to low
until the scholars did bestow
upon my word unearthly glow,
raising it hither, too and fro,
a bar above the status quo.

It reached up high and shone with glory
like a dolled-up British Tory
and echoed of an ancient foray
into the wilds of pre-history.

What price charge I for magnificence?
Honor, my friend, for my reverence.
But if in your benevolence,
you seek to award a recompense,
you’ll find I question your competence
’cause who’d love such an abhorrence?

You’d think after the decades spent
perfecting my word so as to prevent
a misunderstanding of what I’d meant,
that you would be more... indulgent?
“Why was this word so poorly wrent?”
you rudely ask; you must relent,
for it’s the best I could present
in haste at that exact moment.
Besides, the word is transcendent;
bright beaming outlook translucent,
smooth contours simply gradient.
The best that words can represent.
Why, it’s just so Effulgent.


Processing 18×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Snap snap snap snap snap snap snap

4/20/2006 6:46 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...


4/20/2006 6:52 PM  
Blogger sabatkes gesticulated...


Very well chosen words. Indeed!

4/20/2006 11:10 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

That Gyrobo, what a gent!
Who could confuse what he meant?
As if in an experiment
Placebo with opiat bent
He made a word, a word he spent!
With dictionaries circumspect
Yet still managed to pay the rent
Month by month, without relent
Until, like letters in cement
His word, at last, had made its dent
Most brilliantly, in no way lent
Like the secret of Clark Kent
The word is quite magnificent!

4/21/2006 12:09 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

That's truly what I thought I meant.

4/21/2006 8:51 AM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Say, do you do company sloagans?

4/21/2006 5:09 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

That's what the random slogan array is for!

4/21/2006 5:28 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

4/21/2006 7:06 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

I mean to say:

That is so f**king excellent.

4/21/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

It's been a while since the demon of poetry grabbed my brain and started massaging.

4/21/2006 8:32 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Gyrobo, could you please tell me how to get that "mission statement" java script thingy to pop up, what do ya do? I need dat over at my blog.

4/21/2006 9:02 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!!!

4/21/2006 11:22 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I knew Bravo. Quite the generous tipper, I might add. Spent a whole paycheck on egg yolkes, never once thought of plowing the lawn by himself, that one.

A hero.

4/22/2006 12:17 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Where you come up with that off-the-wall stuff, I dunno. By the by, have you checked profile veiws on User Stats lately????? I have a plan that will put me up to the coveted 5,000. BWAAA HA HA!!

4/24/2006 1:34 AM  
Blogger Erin O'Brien gesticulated...





4/24/2006 9:10 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Now you're speaking my language!

4/24/2006 3:20 PM  
Blogger whoami123 gesticulated...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

4/25/2006 10:40 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

That's one of the longest comments I've ever seen.

And to answer your question, obviously. But the secret is volume.

4/25/2006 11:31 PM