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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Product #1412-71j “Cardboard Hull Plating”

A thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters, if given enough time, will type the entire works of Shakespeare. So, when the IABSC (Intercontinental Association of Burly Sea Captains) asked us to design a hull plating, we followed the monkey model, with slight changes. Instead of a thousand typewriters, we used 46 high-end Apple Cubes, utilized by 133 pygmy marmosets.

The Intercontinental Association of Burly Sea Captains.

To keep in line with Roboshrub Incorporated’s strict imadnization process (imagination and madness combined), an ungodly amount of riboflavin was introduced to the marmoset’s immune systems. We quickly realized how unwise this was, but by the time our Primate Pacification Squad arrived, all they could do was direct the janitor to clean the blood and banana yogurt off the monitors.

Fortunately, our Chief Product Debugger, Hans Friedrich, noted that shortly before their mysterious demise (at least that’s what the animal rights groups believe), the marmosets entered the correct number of quarks present in one kiloton of neutronium. From that data, top scientists were able to extrapolate that the best kind of hull plating for seafaring vessels would be cardboard-based.

Capable of zero permeability and infinite density!

Cardboard Hull Plating is meant solely for use by trained burly sea captains. Misuse of hull plating results in rash, fireburns, uncontrollable falling down syndrome (UFDS), and nutrient deficiency. Roboshrub Inc. cannot be held liable for cargo lost to iceberg or pirate related incidents. Do not use near open flames.

Processing 15×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Mint Tea Mystic gesticulated...

I don't think Marmosets are technically primates.

They're more like groundhogs. Or badgers.

2/04/2006 4:11 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Well, at least the comment system works.

And marmosets are primates. I checked Google.

Google is omniscent.

2/04/2006 5:10 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

The imadnization process using banana yogurt! That is something, I made banana bread and it is still warm over at the castle, come over and I will slice you a nice piece. The Chief Product Debugger is not going to debugg Nannbugg is he? The burly sea captains can't be spending all of their time helping out those that have the uncontrollable falling down syndrome. Just come over to the Castle for a night of relaxation!!!

2/05/2006 12:32 AM  
Blogger ashok gesticulated...

i like the new word u coined "imadination"...

2/05/2006 1:58 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Tried cardboard plating my blimp. Lost my food supply, and a treasured friend.

He used his cardboard parachute which failed to deploy.

2/05/2006 5:43 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

2/05/2006 10:02 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...


p.s. I heard the Steelers ordered some of those new cardboard jockstraps. :)

2/05/2006 10:07 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...


More deleted comments? Bloooooggggeeeerrr!

2/05/2006 12:02 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Love the dancing banana!

2/05/2006 12:57 PM  
Blogger Antagonist gesticulated...


2/05/2006 1:47 PM  
Blogger Miladysa gesticulated...

Is there a set of instructions to accompany this blog? :)

2/05/2006 2:59 PM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

Oh, I think it would be alot of fun to use it around fire. Think of all the possibilities.

2/05/2006 3:59 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Fire, fire, in the night.
Burning softly, blazing bright...

2/05/2006 4:43 PM  
Anonymous Salbert gesticulated...

Ok, I got this brilliant idea. Instead of cardboard, we flatten Pepsi cans and staple them on. That's what the Queen Elizibeth II uses. Another innovative product of Sal & Company Ltd.

P.S. Maybe we should form an alliance?

2/05/2006 4:54 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Or, I could buy you out in a hostile takeover. But I'm more than a shell of a broken machine... I'm superman!

Bam! Pow! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Pepsi cans might be better for the environment.

2/05/2006 5:07 PM