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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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The Day the Scones Fought Back- Interlude 1

Ruminants of Destiny

For countless ages, the Llamas had lived in peace. None had dared trespass on their ancient, hollowed grounds. Until today.

“I assume you all are aware of the tragedy that has befallen us.”

Everyone looked across the long marble table at the Great Elder Llama, some with disdain, others with true sadness in their eyes. Surely there was not one among them who did not grieve in some way.

“For over 10,000 years we have been entrusted with the Manwhich of Destiny. And for over 10,000 years, we have kept it safe. But now, it is... gone.”

The words hung in the air like a bag of rotting meat.

“Now, we don't know where it is or who-”

“I'm telling you, I need to see the Elders!” shouted a desperately angry voice as the door to the chamber was jarred open. Two guards walked in, followed by an exhausted looking Dick Cheney. The room fell silent as all eyes stared upon him, some of the less experienced Elders wondering who this human was, who could barge into the chamber while the Elders were in session. But the Great Elder Llama knew better.

“There can be only one reason you would be here. The Manwhich must have been stolen by the Scones.” lamented the Elder. Upon hearing this, Cheney's angry facade gave way to bitter disappointment and fear.

“Stolen?! The Manwhich of Destiny has been stolen?!”

“Yes. We saw the signs that they were planning something big, but by the time we figured it out, the Manwhich was gone.”

“And you just let the Scones take it?! Without a fight?!” Cheney's countenance rippled with anger and cellulite. The lesser Elders slowly moved away from the human. Clearly, this was one of the three who defeated the Scone army over 60 years ago. He was someone to be feared.

“We did not simply hand it over to them,” continued the Great Elder unperturbed, “and right now our primary goal should not be assigning blame. We need to devise a way to retrieve the Manwhich before it's colossal energies are unleashed. I fear that with it, the Scones could become... unstoppable.”

“You're right of course,” said Cheney, regaining his composure. “Now what was it you were saying about 'signs'?”

“Our scouts believe that the Scones are up to their old tricks again. They want to destroy humanity from the inside; we think they've already got someone working inside your very own government. And now with the Manwhich... anything is possible.”

His brain abuzz with a thousand thoughts, Cheney took a quick glance around the chamber. “I can no longer use my full power. Bond is dead.” It took the Elders a few seconds to process this new information through their meta-llama skulls. Finally, the Great Llama Elder spoke.

“That is a terrible thing, but seriously, you really should start looking into the Scones covert infiltration into your government.”

“I've already got someone looking into it for me,” chuckled Cheney. “Only he doesn't know know it yet.”

Processing 2×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Friends of McDougal gesticulated...

Holy shit, robodude. I think we have the same blog.

8/05/2005 6:45 PM  
Blogger Friends of McDougal gesticulated...

Oh no ... wait ... I was looking at my own blog.

Goddamn these pills.

8/05/2005 6:46 PM