Sceptrum Imperium

By royal edict, it is henceforth proclaimed that this, the First Church of Tax Exempt Status, is hereby founded on this day, the 10×9^N of month 000x3 in the year vx-0001. The head of the church shall be the King of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, and by extention Roboshrub Incorporated, King Evil Robo-Bob Dole. As avatar of the Great and Powerful and Numerous and Unspecific robotic deities, it falls to me, King Evil Robo-Bob Dole, to explain the purpose of the universe and things like that. The dogma of the First Church of Tax Exempt Status will be based on the following commandments:

Obey me, for I am your only link to the robot ancestors!

1. Only the consumption of non-organic foods is permitted. None are allowed to eat foods that come from animals, plants, protists, fungi, or monera, as it is offensive to Androjin the Recycler.
2. The use of the ampersand character is hereby prohibited, as its use leads to corruption of the spirit.
3. A daily tithe must be granted to the government of the Frozen Lower Blogosphere by thee in the form of 37 heads of cattle. And remember, just the heads. Throw the bodies away, I only want the brains.
4. Failure to curb thine hound results in immediate expulsion to the fiery pits of Abaddon.
5. The utterance of any clichés in the precense of a Jedi Master is grounds for banishment.
6. Voting along the Robot Party line is mandatory for safe passage to Robot Heaven, which takes the form of a Radio Shack.
7. You must acknowledge the tomato as a vegetable, and never as a fruit.
8. Thou shalt not question the right of the King to pillage thine village.
9. A special permit must be acquired before thou attempst to become a Jedi knight.
10. If thou canst not taketh the heat, remove thyself from thy kitchen.

Break the commandments, and you'll say, "Noooooooo! It burns!"

Your undisputed ruler has spoken! Bow before me, as I contain a creamy, delicious center! Bwa ha ha!