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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Product Component #234-9G: “Ocular Refocuser”

Far above the Earth, a band of electrically charged particles dances every time a burst of solar energy tickles the stratosphere. Light passes through the Nitrogen and its atomic bonds begin to weaken and the surrounding ozone develops a sweet, saccharine smell. Microbes the size of dust eggs make this heavenly place their own, feeding off passerby meteors... and each other.

It’s a place far removed from the busy emotions of humankind; you can see clear across the galaxy, from one quasar to another. And the stars don’t twinkle unless they’ve heard a very funny joke.

In the hall of such majesty, wouldn’t you just feel the urge to... take the magic out of it? Put each smote of unearthly wisdom into meticulously detailed categories? Burn down the forest to see the trees?

Roboshrub Inc. is always happy to help you do things! One of our founding principles is “never turn down money, barter or IOU’s.” And with this latest product component, you, the customer/stockholder/vagabond, will witness firsthand Roboshrub Incorporated’s commitment to Interwebbing Readability. After reading a sneak preview article on features coming to OpenOffice, our Innovation & Original Imaginings Division spent three days working on the following proposal: “let’s do that, but louder!

A table! With bands!
To the untrained eye, this may seem like a table full of data. That would just be... foolish at this point. No, that’s a picture of a table full of data. The actual table is... no, stop clicking on the picture.

If you must click on something, go try out the page that made the data table that picture is based on: the Ocular Refocuser! The purpose of this component is to spruce up the table functionality in my rich text web apps/Opera Widgets, allowing better readability by highlighting every other row or column (trying to highlight both will get you a checkerboard pattern, very sharp!) and creating special headers. Right now the border and background colors cannot be changed, but don’t worry; like a caterpillar in a monsoon, it’s only temporary.

This semi-project will eventually be merged into Project Vont (as seen on blog), along with a bunch of other stuff we haven’t thought of yet, which will all then become the basis for the next version of Project Velt (which really needs an overhaul).

Major project development will begin exactly one week from today, according to our sources in the future, who wish to remain anonymous due to fear of paradox.

Due to a snowstorm postponing my finals for today, I was able to — get this — spend time adding about 20 color themes to this thingy. Of course, I haven’t added any purple or neutral color themes yet, but at least the system is in place.

Processing 4×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

I stopped understanding these posts three winters ago...

...a cold, cold winter indeed. The sun, seemingly wearied like an old depressed man on a mobile home holiday, disappeared from view for extended periods causing breath to hang in air like ephemeral razor blade laden lace. It snowed, deep drifts shone vein blue under the winter moon. I survived, survived by eating my own feet... or were they yours?

12/13/2007 5:08 PM  
Blogger handmaiden gesticulated...

very nice! Although, I'm not at all sure the practical purpose of the Ocular refocuser.

I did have fun fiddling around with the rows & columns...

maybe, I can use it to cheat at sudoku?

12/13/2007 7:04 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Gyro, how'd your finals go?

Mine went pretty good.

Got an A, A-, B, B-.
Little over a year left till I'm done.

P.S> Have you seen the new Starcraft trailer?

12/22/2007 6:32 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

All will be explained postehastedly!

12/22/2007 6:35 PM