A recent study by our Environmental/Water Quality Control group has determined the Oxglove County water supply contains mildly high levels of hydrogen. Our group selected eight sewage lines from random parts of Oxglove County, and seven contained as much as 12% hydrogen. Pure hydrogen is extremely toxic and as a chemical, very dangerous. And we are obligated by state and federal law to disclose this information to the public.
This is not simply a municipal problem, affecting city water only but not other sources. Private wells are also prone to hydrogen buildup, due to seepage of hydrogen hydroxide from old or damaged skeptic tanks. Another molecule, which is indistinguishable from but much more foreboding than, hydrogen hydroxide is dihydrogen monoxide. Molecules of this type bond together due to their polar nature, and in the winter may freeze and cause damage to pipe and plumbing infrastructures of the house.
Dihydrogen monoxide has been given a reactivity rating of one by the J.T.Baker SAF-T-DATA™ labels system. J.T. Baker is a reliable, venerated organization relied upon by members of the scientific community for chemical safety information. Reactivity is one of four safety metrics J.T. Baker takes, it measures of a substance’s ability to “explode or react violently with air, water or other substances” and we urge all citizens to purchase a dihydrogen monoxide detector for their own protection. Dihydrogen monoxide if unrecognized in humans with early detection stages, may cause addiction and extreme thirst.
If you feel listless or feel dizzy, contact a doctor immediately with a portable telephone, as landline wires may touch pipes that carry the hydrogen-containing water.
Thank you for your time.
Office of Lou Tintarello
Oxglove County Environmental Council
“Oxglove County — It’s a Habitable Place”