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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Weathering the Blogstorm

For countless weeks, I’ve told you all that Roboshrub Inc. would never cave to the utter depravity of what the accursed Google Cardboard People call “Der New Blogger.” I’ve seen dozens of blogs fall before the corporate onslaught, their comments wrent asunder, their most cherished members... lost or... merged amid the mass upgrade hysteria. We managed to stay above the fray by keeping Roboshrub himself out of the mix: if the one who created the blog is incommunicado, the upgrade cannot be pushed. Makes sense to you? It did to us, and we love logic almost as much as Mac users love Linux. It was our grand plan, our destiny to remain on the old Blogger for all eternity; the server was finally ours for the taking!
Pointless Scribble!

But all this time—when we thought we were safe—Blogger was actually plotting against us. After systematically forcing our fellow bloggers to upgrade, they finally done did it. They pushed the upgrade on everyone.

Blogs that died years ago are now sporting the new iFrame-based navbar at the top of their pages. And (hah!) in a flagrant display (piff!) of cowardice, the Blogger Buzz site (link) still has the “classic” navbar they’ve denied to millions. Where are your highfalutin ideals now, Blogger?! I guess all that talk about a cyber-utopia was just that; talk. Do those Cardboarders over at the Googleplex have any idea how many minutes it took me to fix my code after their forced upgrade?! And do they even care, those barrel-chested, backwards-faced filter-heads who didn’t bother to tell anyone that this blog was updated?
Pointless Scribble!

It’s a miracle that we got the old navbar back up and running. This whole ordeal has been worse than that time George Bush revealed the ending to the sixth Harry Potter book in his last State of the Union Address. He was in the middle of talking about Iraq, and then wham. “Dumbledore dies.” Simple as that, it was the day my childhood truly ended, and why I can never watch CNN again.

So... now that we’re on the new Blogger, we can’t put javascript in our posts anymore (not that we did, but we could’ve. Now we can’t), we can’t edit our comments to include pictures, that post we made a year ago that deleted wrong and was frozen in time is gone, and my avatar is all squished. But, you know, buck up. Smile. Life’s too short to let the Google and their spiders get your goat.
Pointless Scribble!

With the new Blogger, why, republishing is instantaneous! That means... oh, Sweet Glavin! I can do everything I ever wanted to do, but didn’t have the room or time for! Bless you, Google, for your benevolence! I love the Google!

Processing 13×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

We accept you we accecpt you! One of us! One of us!

4/14/2007 10:56 PM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...

I second what jon said...for we are ALL Freaks here ( a GOOD way, I mean :-)!!!


I think your squishy 'lil avatar is cute, anyway.

4/15/2007 4:46 AM  
Blogger Professor Huxley gesticulated...

My face is also squished.

4/15/2007 1:28 PM  
Blogger Monkey gesticulated...

This whole ordeal has been worse than that time George Bush revealed the ending to the sixth Harry Potter book in his last State of the Union Address. He was in the middle of talking about Iraq, and then wham. “Dumbledore dies.”

I'm sorry, after this... I kind of lost my place.

What were we talking about?

4/15/2007 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Welcome to the rank of 'everyone'.

Genuinely disturbing, glad you're keeping your chin up though, and your fingers out the soup. (love that drawing)

4/15/2007 8:29 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

@Jon: I've never felt the herd instinct before. Now I can't turn it off! Rumba!

@Jin: The next person I see is getting the nickname "Squish."

@Professor: You got that right, Squishy.

@Monkey: We were talking about soup. Duh.

@Rich: It's based on a real story.

4/15/2007 9:32 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...


- that's suppose to be the high-pitched scream from the 1970's Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake. You know, that sound the pod people make when they get exasperated with a "norm".

4/16/2007 9:09 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Yeah...cause you can get burned!
Use a spoon :)

4/16/2007 10:44 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I never have anything important to say.

4/18/2007 9:58 AM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

You know, after re-reading the post, I now discovered it's warm fuzzy centre... Sweet Glavin, is very Professor John Nerdelbaum Frink, Jr.

I shall never read another post without his voice in my head.

4/19/2007 12:04 AM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...

Does anyone else notice that Hippo never has anything important to say???

4/19/2007 10:38 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

I certainly hope you're going to be playing LGS 2, Gyrobo. Your brand of humor is a wonderful thing to behold.

4/19/2007 8:25 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

I think that Hippo's hat is an import.

4/21/2007 4:11 AM