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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Marvels of the Future!

These last two weeks, the entire Roboshrub Inc. staff has been at an emergency hyperbolic summit to determine our future as an imaginary organization, in light of our recent branching into the widget market. During the summit, we tapped the unlimited potential of a quantum thingy, and the time/space continuum was slightly warped so we could compress the 10,000 year meeting into a scant two weeks during which time we were incommunicado.

But being displaced from the normal timestream allowed us a rare glimpse into our future...

During the next five years, the Department of Defense and Blogger apparently will jointly contract Roboshrub Inc. to build the next generation surveillance/feed reading drone.

Pointless Scribble!

Do any of you remember the New Coke? Remember how much you loved it? Well, in a couple of years, Coca-Cola will try to corner the genetic facial enhancement market with their “New Coke” mindset. Yeah, we didn’t see it coming, either... until we looked into the future. And there it was, plain as day. But the future isn’t written in stone, so we’re gonna totally patent their proprietary base pairs!

Pointless Scribble!

As columnist Thomas Friedman claims, the world economy will indeed become more centralized over the next few decades. And Roboshrub Inc. will be riding that wave of internationalization, with our new Vangourd™ Line of measurement standards!

Pointless Scribble!

But by far the most impressive thing I saw was a possible timeline where our flagship product was a magical shimmering algorithm that allowed reality itself to be sorted into an array of contiguous ideas. And thanks to our crack team of interdimensional hackers, you too can experience our alternate reality genius!

When exporting your realities, use the arrow keys to control their flow. The home and end keys move to the first and last realities, respectively, and pressing “Enter” or double clicking will progress the timeline by one. Users of Internet Explorer lack the evolutionary vestiges to export and must select text before inserting images. And they also can’t highlight.

As Bill Gates always intended.

Due to popular outcry, I've enabled the hidden Import feature, so you can copy in other people's slides. I was going to enable it by default, but it was doing really weird things in Opera. To make it work perfectly, import your slideshows, save them, and load them.

Import/export now works perfectly, and a few other bugs have been ironed out. Also, you can now create links between slides (just so you know) and change the default text of new slides. If you find a bug, tell me now or forever hold your peace.

Processing 17×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger jin gesticulated...


(btw, that stands for

*jins mouth hangs open in AWE*

I played!
I clicked!
I laughed!
I cried...ok, not really...just thought it sounded good!

I am quite tired right now so I made something very *not worthy* of sharing. LOL!
But, do you have access to what we make?
I mean, after I make something *cool* will you be able to load it yourself with my name/password?

My poor poor pup...instead of long walks on the beach she'll have to just lay at my feet while I have fun with slides!

3/11/2007 8:11 AM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

Looks a bit penusy.

3/11/2007 9:42 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Your wish is my demand.

3/11/2007 12:54 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

DOD and Blogger teaming up? That can't be a good thing.

3/11/2007 8:16 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Yeah, I don't think that I could trust the DoDaB.


3/12/2007 7:25 AM  
Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

Why is that missle ass powered?

I love the quantum-slideshowarama-thingy. It has all the goodness of a good thing on the goodest day of it's life while wearing goodness enhancing underwear. Good underwear too, not that cheap stuff you get from Roboshrub...'ssss competitors... yes... Roboshrubs Competitors.

3/13/2007 4:40 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Kyle, you so sly.

I misplaced my password.

I think it was something about an ass powered rocket?

3/13/2007 6:19 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One gesticulated...

I think I saw that robot thingy in the "toy' ilse at Bob House of Adult Fun. Strange, I think I saw Bathroom Hippo at that store also. i was just visiting for research.

3/15/2007 3:28 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

That's some weird, wild stuff!
The future's so bright I've got two hair blades!

3/15/2007 10:58 PM  
Blogger 13 gesticulated...

ah, im shielding my eyes from your future!

its so bright! so strange! so full of mutant anteaters!

3/18/2007 1:53 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...


3/19/2007 12:06 AM  
Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

Can you bring me a present from the future. Something small. With unimaginable POWER!

3/19/2007 7:11 PM  
Blogger Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden gesticulated...

03 21 07

That was truly one of the most creative and hilarious blog posts I have ever read. Thanks for sharing.

3/22/2007 7:10 AM  
Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

I need some SCUBA help... over at SCUBA... with a SCUBA post... for SCUBA.

3/23/2007 12:29 AM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Thank you, I have built a monument in your honour.

3/23/2007 1:11 AM  
Blogger wallycrawler gesticulated...

That ruler is cool !

But it's too small for da Wallycrawler !

3/26/2007 10:23 AM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

BEEEEeeeeeep blip vrooooommm plishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....splAT!


3/28/2007 11:09 PM