Author’s Note: To be sung by a barbershop quartet.
*Update* May 11, 2007: You can download the actual comic here.
*Update* May 11, 2007: You can download the actual comic here.
(Chorus)
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Split the atom into neutrons,
Take a nap upon the sofa.
Load a salad down with croûtons,
Sign a missile pact with Russia.
Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Grab a hearty midnight snack,
Turn the Geiger Counter’s knobs.
Knock the mailman on his back,
Fire up the carbon rods.
A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Pro-ton!
Nu-cleus!
Knock the mailman to the ground!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Particle accelerator!
Nuclear refrigerator!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Leave the carpool in the dust,
Refine the standard isotopes.
Eat a sandwich by its crust,
Pan four electron microscopes.
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Dithers really likes to scream,
Complete the broken valance shells.
Cue the fission by fluorine,
And go tell Lou this tuna smells.
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Here we go, the chain reaction,
Teach Elmo the Hokey Pokey.
Proton power builds a nation,
Get your hair cut like a monkey.
A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!
(Crescendo)
Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!
(Fades out)
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Split the atom into neutrons,
Take a nap upon the sofa.
Load a salad down with croûtons,
Sign a missile pact with Russia.
Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Grab a hearty midnight snack,
Turn the Geiger Counter’s knobs.
Knock the mailman on his back,
Fire up the carbon rods.
A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Pro-ton!
Nu-cleus!
Knock the mailman to the ground!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Particle accelerator!
Nuclear refrigerator!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Leave the carpool in the dust,
Refine the standard isotopes.
Eat a sandwich by its crust,
Pan four electron microscopes.
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Dithers really likes to scream,
Complete the broken valance shells.
Cue the fission by fluorine,
And go tell Lou this tuna smells.
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Here we go, the chain reaction,
Teach Elmo the Hokey Pokey.
Proton power builds a nation,
Get your hair cut like a monkey.
A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!
(Crescendo)
Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!
(Fades out)
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Labels: Poetry
The attom does no split, you split. There is no spoon, Morpheus, there is just a spork.
So, is that how it is done?
Hope you are having a good weekend!
~xo
My guess is he uses nucleons.
But then again, I get all my atomic advice from Homer Simpson.
Ok...so I'm thinking this entire post is a subliminal message for everyone to buy your product. You have stock in Dagwood.com don't you slyrobo?
Dagwood makes a terrible sandwhich.
One time... I was eating a sandwhich and guess what?!?!?
I took the first bite...AND THEN THE POWER WENT OUT!
Okay...so it was totally unrelated. Dagwood, Dagwood, Dagwood!!
finally.....my life has meaning again!
I can suggest some really good psychiatrics if you'd like. Really, dude, it's never too late. Hang in there.
I will now sing the Dan song:
Dapper Dan, the dandy man!
Dancing on the Hoover dam!
Deigns to dine on dirty ham!
Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!
That is so cute & clever! I just want to pinch your little robot cheeks. But what happened to daisy, daisy, daisy?
I found a crucial flaw in Encryptor!
Well it's not crucial...
I have snug undies.
The protoplasm is getting low... must get new supply... send puppies...
Noooooo! Not the puppies!
Puppies are forbidden!
Daisy, Daisy!
Source of all surprise!
Daisy, Daisy!
Brighter than sunrise!
Daisy, Daisy!
Bringer of the dawn!
Daisy, Daisy!
Partition off the lawn!
Daisy, Daisy!
Warder of the blight!
Daisy, Daisy!
Callin' it a night.
Oh my gosh, that's so funny!
It was hippo that broke the Encryptor!
...too late
B/p1
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Dagwood, culinary innovator and quantum theorist. Did he not also discover the "Dagap" or dark matter on rye with a side of super strings?
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Wow, I thought I had commented here. I can't imagine what I could have said to get deleted, so chances are I didn't comment...
I'm going to kick Dagwood in the groin. Hard.
We've been waiting for you.
Hey, it's an odd request, but I was wondering if you still had a copy of this pdf that you could email to me. I've been trying to torrent it, but there aren't any seeders anymore. I'd love to have a chance to read it.
Thanks-
Duo
No problem. Just leave your email address (encrypt it if you'd like) and I'll send you a copy.