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Credits

Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

Print Logo

11.12.2006

Learn How Dagwood Splits The Atom!

Author’s Note: To be sung by a barbershop quartet.
*Update* May 11, 2007: You can download the actual comic here.

Learn How Dagwood Splits The Atom!

(Chorus)
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Split the atom into neutrons,
Take a nap upon the sofa.
Load a salad down with croûtons,
Sign a missile pact with Russia.

Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Grab a hearty midnight snack,
Turn the Geiger Counter’s knobs.
Knock the mailman on his back,
Fire up the carbon rods.

A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Pro-ton!
Nu-cleus!
Knock the mailman to the ground!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Particle accelerator!
Nuclear refrigerator!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Leave the carpool in the dust,
Refine the standard isotopes.
Eat a sandwich by its crust,
Pan four electron microscopes.

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die! Blon-die!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Dithers really likes to scream,
Complete the broken valance shells.
Cue the fission by fluorine,
And go tell Lou this tuna smells.

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence! Sci-ence!

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Here we go, the chain reaction,
Teach Elmo the Hokey Pokey.
Proton power builds a nation,
Get your hair cut like a monkey.

A-tom! A-tom! A-tom! A-tom!

(Crescendo)
Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood! Dag-wood!

(Fades out)

Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!
Learn how Dagwood splits the atom!

Labels:


Processing 30×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger R2K gesticulated...

The attom does no split, you split. There is no spoon, Morpheus, there is just a spork.

11/12/2006 6:10 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

So, is that how it is done?

Hope you are having a good weekend!
~xo

11/12/2006 7:18 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

My guess is he uses nucleons.

But then again, I get all my atomic advice from Homer Simpson.

11/12/2006 7:20 PM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...

Ok...so I'm thinking this entire post is a subliminal message for everyone to buy your product. You have stock in Dagwood.com don't you slyrobo?

11/12/2006 7:49 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



Dagwood makes a terrible sandwhich.

One time... I was eating a sandwhich and guess what?!?!?

I took the first bite...AND THEN THE POWER WENT OUT!

Okay...so it was totally unrelated. Dagwood, Dagwood, Dagwood!!

11/12/2006 10:52 PM  
Blogger 13 gesticulated...

finally.....my life has meaning again!

11/13/2006 6:45 AM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

r2k: It is your noble mind that's splitting.

Lee Ann: Spectacular weekend, thanks.

Gyrobo: Aren't you tired of hearing about Schroedinger's boston creme?

Jin: That information is -classified-.

Hippo: I blame quantum entanglement.

Mika: Glad we could help!

11/13/2006 1:48 PM  
Blogger Dan gesticulated...

I can suggest some really good psychiatrics if you'd like. Really, dude, it's never too late. Hang in there.

11/14/2006 8:49 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I will now sing the Dan song:

Dapper Dan, the dandy man!
Dancing on the Hoover dam!
Deigns to dine on dirty ham!

Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!

11/14/2006 9:31 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

That is so cute & clever! I just want to pinch your little robot cheeks. But what happened to daisy, daisy, daisy?

11/14/2006 10:28 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



I found a crucial flaw in Encryptor!

Well it's not crucial...

I have snug undies.

11/14/2006 12:37 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

The protoplasm is getting low... must get new supply... send puppies...

11/14/2006 7:38 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Noooooo! Not the puppies!

11/14/2006 11:36 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Puppies are forbidden!

Daisy, Daisy!
Source of all surprise!
Daisy, Daisy!
Brighter than sunrise!
Daisy, Daisy!
Bringer of the dawn!
Daisy, Daisy!
Partition off the lawn!
Daisy, Daisy!
Warder of the blight!
Daisy, Daisy!
Callin' it a night.

11/14/2006 11:51 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Oh my gosh, that's so funny!


It was hippo that broke the Encryptor!

11/15/2006 12:13 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

...too late

11/15/2006 2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous gesticulated...

B/p1

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UeBfkkj

M*P(eVjrmejfgef eg/`ifla*

11/16/2006 2:50 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Djj?egr"iejlepjrme`""jrlnflaen/ n*

Gr nem/h/h'/m&e`eNU§b`mnef eHINenb/e `h/enbflae` e`eNU bfmn*

11/16/2006 6:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous gesticulated...

P6fn"benje'/n`e`gm/`?pe?r?/1

Vjreilj6epjre6`lnenjj*eeIbe`l?en`i/ehpen/ necjmeh/ekg/` /*eeB`2/epjren`i/le`""jrlnflaep/n{eeC;he`ecm/`ifleCPNeh`djmeljne`le`""jrln`ln1

11/17/2006 7:09 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

)gjaa/mef l;neg/nnflaer erkam`?/ep/n***

Cenjjie`le`""jrlnflae/g/"nf2/eflebfabe "bjjg&e`l?efne6` e2/mperlcrl*eCe?jl;nefln/l?enje/2/me?jenb`ne`a`fl*

)rnefceCe?f?&eC;?e'/e`gg&e~¶FFeVIOLeFC¶)CFCNC,Pe¶L,e),FIHDeNIeVIO1~

11/17/2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

Dagwood, culinary innovator and quantum theorist. Did he not also discover the "Dagap" or dark matter on rye with a side of super strings?

11/17/2006 7:18 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...


Ar?/eb`2/epjreb/`m?ejcenb/eSrl?jeSfmr {eeCneif"i/?ehpe` ecjme`6bfg/*

Cnefl n`gg e`e?ggecfg/e6bf"be6flgjajle^`el/"/ `mpekmj"/ $emrl e`l?ebjg? ejlenjjecjme?/`megfc/*eeP`c/eJj?/e`l?em/hj2`ge?f?l;ne?je bfn&eHjme?f?e`lpejnb/me'm`l?ejce jcn6`m/}cm//6`m/e6fnbenb/e/4"/knfjlejcejl/*eeClenb/e/l?eCem/l`h/?enb/ecfg/e`ne n`mnrkeh`iflaefner /g/ *ee)rnefnenjjiexenmf/ enjem/l`h/efn1

C;?egfi/enje //epjre?jenb`n1eeM/mc/"nfjlf n1

11/17/2006 8:32 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Bj6e?f?epjre/2/leD,Nenb`nenbfla{

11/17/2006 11:04 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...


Nb/eFf/[eeAj6lgj`?flaecm//6`m/*


Nb/enmrnb[eeCer /?e`ekmj4penjeajenje`le/l/hpe'gjaa/mejcehfl/***njje'`?enb/ekmj4pea`2/eh/e`e2fmr 11eeAjl;ner /enb`nelfld`ekmj4peCea`2/epjre`egjlaenfh/e`aj1

11/18/2006 10:48 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Ce`2jf?enb/elfld`eh/l`"/*

11/18/2006 2:44 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...


F/`mlebj6eDpmj'je kgfn enb/e`njh1
F/`mlebj6eDpmj'je kgfn enb/e`njh***

s&et&ex&ev&esy&esse1

F/`mlebj6eDpmj'je kgfn enb/e`njh1
F/`mlebj6eDpmj'je kgfn enb/e`njh***

Dpmj'j&eDpmj'j&eDpmj'j&eDpm***p`benbf ef ekjflng/ ***

11/18/2006 2:53 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Wow, I thought I had commented here. I can't imagine what I could have said to get deleted, so chances are I didn't comment...

I'm going to kick Dagwood in the groin. Hard.

11/18/2006 8:25 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

We've been waiting for you.

11/18/2006 10:51 PM  
Blogger Duo gesticulated...

Hey, it's an odd request, but I was wondering if you still had a copy of this pdf that you could email to me. I've been trying to torrent it, but there aren't any seeders anymore. I'd love to have a chance to read it.

Thanks-
Duo

5/08/2008 12:37 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

No problem. Just leave your email address (encrypt it if you'd like) and I'll send you a copy.

5/08/2008 2:42 PM