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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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5.19.2006

Venus Reborn

Sun-streaked skies closed up before the praetor. It was the first time in many decades that the chloroforming mission could claim a success; glancing down on the hovering city of Nest Yeshire, he could see children running out to play in the sulfur streaming in from the sky.

Life on Venus had taken a sharp decline after the humans tried to terraform their sister world. Completely ignorant of the existence of the long-lived Venusians, human scientists spent nearly a century bleeding off the thick atmosphere of Venus before the effects were enough to rouse the Venusians from hibernation. The first encounter between the two sentients had been quite disturbing, what with the humans expecting not to find any kind of life in the deadly clouds. But being woken up after eons of rest was in itself unsettling to the silicon based Venusians, who massed on the terraformers, destroying them and the humans inside. Following that was a war that lasted nearly thirty years and resulted in the total destruction of the volcanic Jovian moon Io, which was mined out to provide precious metals for the war effort.

But then the Robots stepped in, bringing humanity and Venusity together in harmony at a summit in Moab, Utah in 2146. The city of Moab was chosen, said the Robots, because it was the only place in the known universe that provided enough oxygen for humans to survive, yet enough sulfur and carbon dioxide to sustain Venusian life. In the spirit of diplomacy and friendship, the Robots threatened to destroy both Earth and Venus if the two sides didn't reach an equitable compromise. This caused the formation of the first Earth-Venus alliance, which promptly used electromagnetic field disruptors to eliminate the Robots, who had become complacent and arrogant. This heralded the beginning of the New Age.

"Run along, children," called the praetor. He knew they couldn't hear him; just as well, as deep down he secretly hated them. Pulling out a cartouche of the solar system, the wizened Venusian began to formulate the action his government should take in response to the Humans' refusal to cede mining rights on Callisto. Proconsul Iiiid wouldn't accept anything less than full incorporation, and had the influence to usurp the praetorship if the government looked weak.

Then, without warning, the sun expended all its hydrogen and became a red giant, engulfing both Earth and Venus. None survived.

Processing 22×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger L>T gesticulated...

That was a great story! I really got into it before the sun exploded.

BTW, Sorry, I feel kinda stupid, but, i have no idea what your other blog is about.
can you clue me in?

5/19/2006 8:31 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

This blog has never been about anything. That's what makes it great.

Yinto povat rev be wecas ihrprom tuneeg row bazzwo leveitus quor.

5/20/2006 12:18 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



Heh...

5/20/2006 7:14 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...


Modena was more suitable of a candidate.


5/20/2006 7:23 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

It's seems pretty clear who the true enemy was in that story - the robots. They totally disregarded both humans and venitians inalienable rights to kill each other. If the sun hadn't taken care of the job for them, I'm sure Earth and Venus would have allied to destroy the robots.

5/20/2006 2:49 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

They did destroy the Robots. All that matters now is the question of why the sun morphed into a red giant at that particular moment.

Could there be an extrasolar influence at work?! Tune in next time for another installment of... Whatever this series will be known as!

5/20/2006 2:54 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



MODENA!

5/20/2006 5:15 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

They would've gone with Modena, but they needed a place where humans could survive without radiation suits.

5/21/2006 10:49 AM  
Blogger wallycrawler gesticulated...

I once was on a planet before it was consumed by a red star (sun) and lived to tell the tale , so there !

5/21/2006 2:16 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



Moab owns Modena.

5/21/2006 6:21 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

I changed my ICON (I dont use the word avatar) recently. Just a heads up. Unlike you, who can never change his no matter what, I like to rotate a bit so people dont get bored with me.

5/21/2006 7:29 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Since when was a wizened Venusian an annually elected magistrate of the ancient Roman Republic? Wait, who cares, the sun exploded.

5/21/2006 9:24 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Now youse gettin' it!

5/21/2006 11:59 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

I've spent 15 minutes trying to figure out your cryptogram. My patience has run out. Give me a hint.

5/22/2006 12:10 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



MODENA! Dangit!


I give up.

5/22/2006 3:05 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

What cryptogram? You must mean honey grahm. Soup.

5/22/2006 8:42 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

I survived. I survived because I have destrucity!

5/22/2006 3:01 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

oh, the warm sun...

5/22/2006 10:41 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

What part of "ninja" don't you understand?!

5/22/2006 11:20 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

ARRRGH!

& now i have to navigate the word verification.

5/23/2006 1:51 AM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! I can't sleep at night now...

5/23/2006 7:47 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

me neither. maybe we should get together. Opps I thot you looked like a canadian Mounty, but maybe are a woman in a hat?

5/23/2006 10:14 AM