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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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The Seeds Of Maddness

It was winter in the summertime,
and yet I saw no snow.
Each unfurled leaf a mite of spite,
the garden gnomes a guiding light,
as you already know.

The count was in his counting house
eating all the honey.
What, you think he carries cash
and has a polymorphic ring-tone stash?
Or were you trying to be funny?

The toast beacons once again
to all the brave and true:
“Who will quest forth
beyond the porch
for my enchanted glue?”

Abe Lincoln was the first in line
for this most sacred quest.
“Give me your hand,
and understand,
before you stands the best!”

Once there was a time when
before the die was cast,
One would deign
to rule and reign
with ten feet in the past.

Rules, like jewels and threads and spools
are nothing if not neat.
But mapping out the universe
in streaming telepathic verse
is where the mind’s complete.

So who or what forgives those
who boil off the stew?
You know the ones,
with fake ray-guns,
who drink the bitter brew?

The ones who dance before they crawl,
the ones who set sail east?
Whose cooking pales
in log-base scales
to those who bake with yeast?

I saw a master painter
on her canvas yesterday.
She drafted out a sunset,
handed me an amulet,
and sent me on my way.

And that is why the summer sky
this cold Octember night
is streaked with hues
of crime scene clues,
all dancing on the blight.

Each snide riptide is ten feet wide,
where hidden cat scientists play.
“The testing stops,”
their Provost chops,
“when all the dogs are stray!”

Melting in the frozen sun,
the snowman throws the switch.
The people gather near the docks
to reset all their household clocks;
the mainframe pops a glitch.

Verily, I must admit
that four times one is two.
No, that’s plain wrong,
so bang the gong,
we’ll start the game anew.

It was winter in the summertime,
and yet I saw no snow.
But where there’s hope
and rope-a-dope
the seeds of maddness grow.


Processing 19×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Oh yah?

Well I beat Shawn Michaels in a cage match.

4/29/2006 9:29 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

Dude... put the pipe down

4/29/2006 10:26 AM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

Ha ha! I remember "Bang a Gong". That was a good song. Just the soundtrack for a hard morphin' man!

As the proletariat said, "There is methadone to his madness"


Pac Man Hunting
By Oscar Goldman

4/29/2006 11:09 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Inside a riptide
the hidden cat scientists wait.
They seek the beaks
of mountain peaks
and then slam closed the gate.

4/29/2006 12:18 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Hippo: You beat Shawn Micheals?! Let's see you take on the Big Show (is he still on, I haven't watched since Gurerro died?).

Gyrobo: My company won't invest in you if you keep putting poems up, where are your products?

4/29/2006 1:02 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Shawn Michaels lays down for no man!

4/29/2006 1:13 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I got news for ya

Shawn Michaels tapped out to my sharpshooter, right after I power-bombed his face through the steel steps.

Then Big Show came after the match and chokeslammed his corpse three times.

4/29/2006 3:08 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi gesticulated...

I took Shawn Michaels into custody after he put sleeper holds on a few candy corns down in Texas.

4/29/2006 5:21 PM  
Blogger Adjuster gesticulated...

We would like to buy your blog. The blogosphere needs parking lots, and we represent Clients who are willing to pay.

Pave! Pave the Blogosphere!

4/29/2006 7:58 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Sold! Wait, I don't own this blog... I only rent.

I'm sure Roboshrub won't be taken so lightly. He's a very metatronic individual.

4/29/2006 11:03 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

I'm willing to subdivide enough of our real estate to provide parking for two cars, or a single spaceship.

Of course, you're going to have to buy spaceship insurance. We're the only affordable provider.

4/30/2006 12:27 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Spaceship insurance? But we've already bought endtime insurance! Will the provider accept the charges?!

4/30/2006 12:32 AM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

Actually, I'm redirecting it through our employee benefit/pension fund. There is expected to be a slight negative cash drain, but that account will be back in the green by 2,507 AD.

4/30/2006 12:38 AM  
Blogger Captain Canuck gesticulated...

I'd watch out for those Dudes. Dept. H has a file open on them--though for now, it's an empty one.

4/30/2006 12:41 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

"snap snap snap"
Amen & groovey, Brother gyrobro.

'So who or what forgives those
who boil off the stew?
You know the ones
with fake ray-guns
who drink the bitter brew.'


4/30/2006 12:29 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The bitter brew is the only thing that stands between Harry Potter and the moon.

4/30/2006 2:36 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperBoy gesticulated...

do the seeds of madness ever sprout? can i exchange my cow for some of them? if my cow has the mad-cow disease, is it a fair trade?

4/30/2006 4:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Fair? It's Laissez faire!

4/30/2006 4:53 PM  
Blogger Roger Moore gesticulated...

Seeds of Madness??? Curses! I think there's a spy in our building. Our Kernels of Insanity have been in development since February. Double drats!!

5/01/2006 8:15 AM