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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Product #0364-56c “Aluminum Balloons”

With so many tropical plants being driven to extinction, and the price of oil and petroleum by-products approaching record levels, it has become an economic necessity to find alternate materials to compete with plastic. The fuel shortage is estimated to peak when oil reaches its zenith in about 30 years, bringing with it Armageddon and an end to classic Rock n’ Roll.

We feel that only Roboshrub Inc. is capable of tackling this serious, life-altering, translucent, problem. An industrial accident at a children’s birthday party three years ago caused a massive amount of microwave radiation to meld 1×1098 nanometers of aluminum foil with a semi-inflated plastic balloon, giving the world its first, albeit deadly and semi-melted aluminum balloon.

The tragic birthday party massacre.

Aluminum balloons sport several key item features that place them above the plasticized competition. Unlike their plastic cousins, the Aluminum Balloon never needs to be blown up. It comes ready inflated, and there’s virtually no risk of it flying away, since the aluminum atoms possess a 12,869% greater density than any refined rubber product. Children will enjoy the Aluminum Balloon for hours on end. Recent studies by Pushy Child Monthly reveal that playing with metallic toys bolsters your youngster’s immune system enough to ward off illnesses such as the bubonic plague and monkey pox.

And they never need to be blown up!

The Aluminum Balloon starter kit includes ten already inflated balloons, 75 meters of diamond-strength balloon tether twine, a copy of the popular novel “Ballooning to the Top: The Bittersweet History of Aluminum”, and of course the 200-page instruction manual. Read the manual thoroughly, as it indemnifies Roboshrub Inc. against lawsuits stemming from aluminum related diseases that our customers may or may not contract. Not for outdoor use.

Processing 8×100 Robo-Comments:

Anonymous Salbert gesticulated...

Now can I get them in blue?

I got some questions: How do I get a blog Team Member and what software do you use for the pictures in your post?

2/04/2006 2:45 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Where the h*ll are my comments???

2/04/2006 3:06 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

There's something wrong with this post. Every time a new comment is posted, one of the others gets deleted. I'm going to post the new product early, 'cause this is insane.

2/04/2006 3:24 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

HEY! The entire post I made on my next product is gone! Now I have to start from scratch!

2/04/2006 3:26 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Actually, this morning, at 5AM, your next post was only one sentence. Did you know that??

BTW, in one of my questions that got swept away by the commentor polices, I asked what the difference is between a cannonball and an aluminun balloon. You know, besides the fact that the aluminum balloon is made of aluminum and (most likely) isn't filled with gun powder?

2/04/2006 11:27 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

PS do you have a robotic kitty cat that you would like to have featured in JAIBHAKTI's Cat of the Month thingy??

Just send me a picture and a write-up and I'll see what I can do.

And, Stan, if you're reading this, where's the photo of your pug???

2/04/2006 11:28 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Damn, my comment was deleted & it was good!

2/05/2006 9:55 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Have no fear! I think that by now, any one should be able to comment on here. Although, I don't see why anyone would. This wasn't one of the better products, and now that this post is a couple days old, it will most likely never be commented on again.

2/08/2006 1:54 PM