We feel that only Roboshrub Inc. is capable of tackling this serious, life-altering, translucent, problem. An industrial accident at a children’s birthday party three years ago caused a massive amount of microwave radiation to meld 1×1098 nanometers of aluminum foil with a semi-inflated plastic balloon, giving the world its first, albeit deadly and semi-melted aluminum balloon.
The tragic birthday party massacre.
Aluminum balloons sport several key item features that place them above the plasticized competition. Unlike their plastic cousins, the Aluminum Balloon never needs to be blown up. It comes ready inflated, and there’s virtually no risk of it flying away, since the aluminum atoms possess a 12,869% greater density than any refined rubber product. Children will enjoy the Aluminum Balloon for hours on end. Recent studies by Pushy Child Monthly reveal that playing with metallic toys bolsters your youngster’s immune system enough to ward off illnesses such as the bubonic plague and monkey pox.
And they never need to be blown up!
The Aluminum Balloon starter kit includes ten already inflated balloons, 75 meters of diamond-strength balloon tether twine, a copy of the popular novel “Ballooning to the Top: The Bittersweet History of Aluminum”, and of course the 200-page instruction manual. Read the manual thoroughly, as it indemnifies Roboshrub Inc. against lawsuits stemming from aluminum related diseases that our customers may or may not contract. Not for outdoor use.