After losing its status as one of the “classical” planets, former celestial heavyweight Pluto issued a direct challenge to U.S. President George W. Bush last week via a robotic translation drone. According to sources close to the executive branch, the Kuiper Kid wants to reclaim its role as full-fledged planet by forcing a faux presidential-style debate with the aged Republican. Administration magician Karl Rove was reported to have spent up to 80 hours prepping the president for a formal response, evidenced by the fact that Bush wore pants to the press conference.
Senior Comparative Planetologist (and world-renown political roughhouse master) Wasyl Jambin also met with the president earlier this week. “I told him to just look at Pluto through a telescope and think about what planetary status would mean,” Mr. Jambin told Routers in a letter taped to a brick. Being ever the social butterfly, Mr. Bush convened a press conference to discuss the... Snap! It’s on now.
It’s on! Shut up, it’s on!
“...after consultin’ the advisios,” the president told a waiting audience of Harvard scientologists and Nobel-winning laureates, “we’re just gonna fire a nuke at the Pluto, because it’s so big.” And true to his word, a barrage of cold-war era nuclear missiles left Earth’s atmosphere just as he put down his nuclear football, heading for parts unknown (the missiles, not the football).
Scientists are skeptical that the president’s plan will successfully destroy Pluto, thus ending the debate once and for all.
Senior Comparative Planetologist (and world-renown political roughhouse master) Wasyl Jambin also met with the president earlier this week. “I told him to just look at Pluto through a telescope and think about what planetary status would mean,” Mr. Jambin told Routers in a letter taped to a brick. Being ever the social butterfly, Mr. Bush convened a press conference to discuss the... Snap! It’s on now.
It’s on! Shut up, it’s on!
“...after consultin’ the advisios,” the president told a waiting audience of Harvard scientologists and Nobel-winning laureates, “we’re just gonna fire a nuke at the Pluto, because it’s so big.” And true to his word, a barrage of cold-war era nuclear missiles left Earth’s atmosphere just as he put down his nuclear football, heading for parts unknown (the missiles, not the football).
Scientists are skeptical that the president’s plan will successfully destroy Pluto, thus ending the debate once and for all.
Went to a Bush rally in SLC today...never heard Pluto mentioned.
pluto is my favorite planet. Yay for pluto!
I think we should keep Pluto but it should be renamed Goofy.
I wanted to vote for Jake as well, but I felt that Pluto really need my vote, so I went out and rocked it thusly.
So how long would it take a nuclear missile to reach Pluto? A decade or so?
I'll tell you all what I told Roboshrub: Jake's gonna win in a landslide.
i wonder if this vote could posibally(?whatever) be rigged?
Jake does have the best PR team money can bribe.
Jake! Have you been committing voter fraud? Bad dog! Bad!
Pluto voted for that spending bill, before he voted against it. She? He? The hell with it. Lets just use that piece of space junk to calibrate our warheads.
Another sucker for an adorable puppy! :-)