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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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1.17.2006

It’s Inoculicious!

My recent uphill battle against Internet censorship has uncovered a serious flaw in Blogger—it’s entirely possible for large groups of people to “Flag” blogs as objectionable. Since this banning process is completely undemocratic and contrary to the nature of an open forum, I have unleashed my brilliant mental prowess to create a solution. And that solution takes the form of:

<script>document.getElementById('flagButton').style.display = 'none';</script>

Just paste that into your blog’s template directly under where it says <div id="header"> but before <h1 id="blog-title">

When your page loads, the flag button will be banished from your toolbar forevermore! Well, almost. Inoculate yourself against censorship today!

Processing 32×100 Robo-Comments:

Anonymous Team Bushwhackin American Style gesticulated...

What you're doing is unconstitutional. You have no right to censor the censoring of others who wish to censor. That's just Un-American! I'm reporting you to President Bushwhacker, whereupon he will do the only democratic thing there is left to do--that's right! He will illegally bug your blog!!!!

1/17/2006 1:02 PM  
Anonymous George W. Bush gesticulated...

Hey little fella. My people tell me you are hindering in the censorship modalities of the blog-...bloga-...er...this blog thing. Yeah. You shouldn't censor anyone, that's my job. Who are you to say who and what the American people can read and listen to?? The only person who has the right to listen to and read anyone's stuff is...well, me. 'Cause I run this here ranch. That's right little buddy. You've gotta let go of your anger and let George W. do your biddin. I'll decide. That's right. I'll decide what comments can and cannot...uh...be written...er...uh typed on this bloges...blogospherical aparatusmous. A robot like yourself has no business taken away the Red Flag that I had Blogger install to let the oval office know of any detractors or homosexuals. You see, not only did we install the Blogger 'Flag Alert', we also funded Broken Backward Mountain as a sort of 'Fag Alert'. That's right. Everyone who went to see the broken cowboys puttin' their pokers where they don't belong has been videotaped on our top of the line servailance equiptments. That's right.

Be afraid. Be very afraid. WE are listening ('WE' being Laura, Dick, and I). We are watching. We will attack!

Taking away others abilities to censor your comments is like me eating a bologna sandwich without praying to sweet louise before taking the first bite.

Hallelujah.
Amen.

Now, what was the point of this speech???

1/17/2006 1:11 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I didn’t see “Brokeback Mountain”. I think any movie that tries to portray the Wild West as anything other than Cholera-ridden with a less than 35 years average lifespan is wrong. Power to the greater or equal to 35 year lifespan!

1/17/2006 2:46 PM  
Blogger marcy_peanut gesticulated...

I didn't see Broken Mountains either. I would highly recommend Desert Hearts in its place--Even though the acting stinks and the plot is trite.

1/17/2006 2:54 PM  
Blogger Monkey gesticulated...

We love you GYROBO. Thanks for making blogger safe for all of us.

I'm glad you're not lettin' Dubwa do your biddin'.

1/17/2006 3:17 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Actually, I haven't gone to a see a movie in years. It's just easier to wait until it's on T.V. for free. With the price of basic cable skyrocketing, they owe me high quality movies. Seriously, they just increased the price by $5 a few months ago without giving me anything new.

Greedy Time Warner!

1/17/2006 3:50 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

I haven't gone to see a movie becuase I'M STUCK IN MY ^%$@!^#!*@ HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There, now maybe L>T will believe me when I say that I, too, quite often lose my center...

1/17/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Cabe gesticulated...

Those first two comments were absurd.

Secondly....Gyrobo......

A long time ago my brother did the same thing you did with geocities...he got rid of their ad. I think they either banned him or changed it back. Though I hate that rediculous flag, it is part of bloggers template and I beleive mandatory to blogspot pages. If they find out you may have to face the music. What's stopping others from totally getting rid of that bar? I think you're stepping over the line on this one.

Just lookin' out for you. It's what O'reilly would want me to do.

1/17/2006 4:33 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

We could ask Blogger to destroy Gyrobo for not loving big brother. Who's with me on this?

1/17/2006 5:25 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Actually, on Fires of the Frozen Blogosphere, I invisibalized the toolbar the minute it began six months ago.

If Blogger had the ability to regulate such small details in each blog, they'd've gotten rid of all the spam blogs, so as to prevent the need for the flag in the first place.

But I appreciate your concern.

1/17/2006 5:36 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...




Big Brother...


Small Further?


Ah, the hell with you all!


1/17/2006 5:41 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Did CABE say that the first two comments were ABSURD????? Perhaps that was their point, entirely; or maybe not!

1984 is here, my dear Cabe.

1/17/2006 6:10 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

He did, and I'll fight to the death to defend his right to say it! Or maybe I wouldn't have to, if the economy was more robust.

That's the new buzzword: robust. It's like "robot", but conveys a more family-friendly approach.

1/17/2006 6:39 PM  
Blogger Cabe gesticulated...

I don't buy Big Brother wanting to censor everything. 1984 was a good read, but nothing more.

If you want to apply it, then apply it to China or Venezuela before you apply it to our Republic.

Or if you were just making a joke about blogger or geocities...then I misunderstood and apologize.

1/17/2006 7:19 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

gyro ~ You are so cool!

1/17/2006 10:15 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

1984 was a good read, but nothing more.

It actually left me dry.

And, yes, the first two comments were supposed to be totally absurd, with a little social satire not meant to ruffle any feathers, as I knew Gyrobo would probably get a laugh--nothing more, nothing less.


I distinctly recall someone named CABEronimo deleting several of my comments in which I quoted Pat Buchanan, and explained why I don't like him....censorship is very active in the blogosphere.

I think the blogs are like our kids, and we protect them when we feel like they are being threatened, or our particular values are being questioned.

Whatever.

Let's have fun!!!
I didn't withstand having 19 tons of metal placed inside my spine so I could come back to a world of arguing people! Let's Party!!! :)

1/17/2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I read 1984 once. Seemed a little contrived. I would've replaced "Big Brother" with a more commanding figure. It would've been a simpler story if the oligarchs just founded a religion.

1/17/2006 11:08 PM  
Blogger sabatkes gesticulated...

Gyrobo- saving mankind one cool blog at at time!

1/17/2006 11:28 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

I don't think I actually made it all of the way through 1984. The cool thing was that it was 1984 when I was supposed to read it (sophomore year of high school). That didn't change my position much. Still thought it was quite the bore. I preferred Prince's 1999.

BTW--I'll be 71 if I make it to 2040!!!!

1/18/2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

PS I just got 41 emails in my inbox from Blogger. All of them were email notifications for comments that have been left on my blog the past 2 weeks. Anyone else have a similar experience??

1/18/2006 11:15 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

Good! I'm glad that's settled then...

1/18/2006 11:36 AM  
Blogger the original marriedman gesticulated...

I'm so horny right now. I need to get some foot, bad.

1/18/2006 2:25 PM  
Blogger Mahndisa S. Rigmaiden gesticulated...

01 18 06

OKay. Thanks for the suggestion:)

1/18/2006 2:34 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

On your blog's comments tab, you can specify an e-mail address that all posted comments get sent to. That's how I knew this blog had over 900 comments; I saw the number in my inbox.

Actually, I made a special GMail label for comments, and set a filter to send all incoming comments to that label.

Knowing is half the battle.

1/18/2006 2:39 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

Knowing IS the battle Gyrobo! That's why Big Brother is watching...

1/18/2006 4:12 PM  
Blogger Jasmine gesticulated...

So cool, great tip...thank you ;)

::wink::

1/18/2006 6:22 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

GYROBO, I've had my Comment/Email thingy activated since September. All of a sudden, sometime earlier this month, I stopped getting the notification. Then, today, I got 41 emails all at once!!

Something is strange in Bloggerville!

1/18/2006 6:35 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

That happened to me once, but it was only about two or three e-mails.

Also, when I'm republishing, sometimes it freezes. Weird.

1/18/2006 6:40 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1/18/2006 6:43 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

G-rob in the place to be
Blogging the blog most bloggedly

Thanks for the anti-flagging tip!

I've sometimes wondered if it is possible to find out how many flags one's blog might have attracted.

1/18/2006 6:45 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer gesticulated...

Roboshrub - I intentionally leave the flag on. I have insiders at blogger who let Ant*n*o M*rc*lli know who's trying to censor my blog. Mr. M*rc*lli owes me a few favors.

Afterwards, the ones who flag my blog walk funny for a few years. I tell Ant*n*o to go easy on them. He wears a neckless of their left pinkies too. He's kind of weird like that.

1/21/2006 1:35 PM  
Blogger Stan gesticulated...

Thanks for the tip.
Troublesome flag is GONE!

1/30/2006 4:19 PM