Speaking of moving targets, the International Statistical Association just released some troubling figures the other week. Did you know that 35% of all fibrophages are Canadian in origin? Or that 18% of school children think boats are wingless airplanes? Everyone knows that boats are wheel-less trains. Call me crazy, but should our tax dollars really be spent convincing children that boats can fly? That rarely happens. I'd rather they be taught how to deal with a Canadian fibrophage monopoly.
A little bit off-topic, but have any of you seen my dog? It's a couple of feet long, or shorter than that. It's either a beagle or a great Dane, I forget which, and I might be thinking of a monitor lizard. It answers only to its own name, which I have been unable to learn. In the span of my life, I've owned seven dogs, sixteen cats, thirty-seven parrots, one hyperactive pig, and the Montauk Monster. On the whole, the Monster was the most well-behaved, though it ate a villager. Fortunately, there are, like, soooo many other villagers. So if you see either a stray dog, or a Monster, call me. My phone number is the same as your local city council, except you have to scream as loud as you can when they pick up; that transfers you to my line. You need to believe me, because nobody else will.