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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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The CIA gets a bad rap in the public eye, and is often targeted as central to Illuminati conspiracy theories. It's time their name was cleared.

The CIA is not some omnipresent psychic secret police force that takes orders from an orbiting supercomputer. Not by a long shot. In fact, the CIA is just a secure governmental agency for civilian intelligence. They are largely statisticians, researchers, poll-trawlers and surveyors, only rarely resorting to espionage and only when the truth is being hidden. They are neither spectacular nor infallible; they are capable of both competent intelligence work and miserable hackery. The CIA is boring, bureaucratic, and always operates within legal parameters. It conceals facts from the public but never actively deceives them (at least, not like the military does). Like most government programs, much of their productivity is lost to red tape despite the fact that they are liberally gorged on national tax dollars.

And, like every other government program, their supercomputer is not in orbit but underground, where geothermal vents are harnessed to soften its nightmarish taxation of the global energy grid.

No, the likely source of these common misconceptions about the CIA come from its sister programs, the GAMA and the ACCWH, who are relatively unknown thanks to the fact that they are perfectly willing to actively deceive the public and insist that their funding be officially categorized as tax cuts for small business and senatorial pay raises.

The Global Affairs Meddlement Agency was instrumental in the establishment of the United Nations, NAFTA, OPEC and IHOP. During WWI the isolationist sentiment that the United States had long held were forever sacrificed and the nation was overwhelmed by a backlash policy that seemed to urge, "Go! Interact with the world! Do so with reckless abandon, metering purposelessness with disorganization!" It was at this point that GAMA was created, to best serve the interests of America, by keeping things interesting.

GAMA abducted Albert Einstein from NAZI Germany. GAMA used the Bay of Pigs invasion to give the Cubans their experimental immortality elixer (if you can guess in what way it was dangerously flawed, give yourself three points). Fidel Castro is still alive to this day. GAMA armed and funded terrorist splinter cells in Chile and New Guinea. GAMA convinced France that it was the best country ever. GAMA advised the Senate to raise and lower US tariffs in correspondence with the hemlines of skirts. GAMA paid Karl Marx to pretend communism was a great idea. Yet there were a great many things GAMA did not do.

The Administration for Controlling the Course of World History, on the other hand, didn't not do those things. Rumors of the CIA's fealty to Yale's Skull and Bones club most likely originate with the ACCWH's close partnership with that very same school. And, like Yale, the ACCWH has existed for far longer than the United States Government, or, indeed, the United States itself.

It is hard to say how the Iroquois Indians managed, with their rudimentary technologies, to engineer the circumstances that would lead to their own discovery. And yet the story is handed down to us, through woven bead pictogram belts. Not satisfied with the direction of the early Western world, they subtly invented the collapse of the Roman Empire. Naturally, this caused a dark age in its wake, where the sciences of the Greek world were lost for hundreds of years until the Arabic texts were allowed to leak back into medieval Europe. Armed with old knowledge but a barbaric new mindset, they were able to set sail and initiate the most horrifying series of genocidal conquests the world will ever see.

It is a topic hotly debated by political scholars as to how the Iroquois felt about damning their own culture along with those of hundreds of other American nations. Certainly they were aware that their people would be preserved through the conspiratorial institution that would forever control the fate of mankind and, indeed, the whole of Earth. But it must take a sort of cool acceptance to press the button that launches the Mayflower, then destroy all traces of your psionic weaponry in a volcano. That is why the Iroquois word "accwh" means "of superior spirituality."

As a nationally-funded program, the ACCWH has undergone several periods of reform. First, they have been sworn to serve only their new masters and act entirely on the whims of the vice president. There has been much discussion as to how Vice President Elect Biden will decide to control the course of world history. It is traditional to leave everything as the native progenitors originally intended it, but the precedent for taking a more active role certainly exists. Furthermore, in the late 80s they, too, became subjected to oversight by supercomputers, being among the last national programs to succumb to digital rulership (the absolute last was FEMA, which was only placed under computational supervision in 2000, and was gang-pressed into running WINDOWS ME). Yet despite all this, the ACCWH manages to maintain its proud heritage. Yes, much has changed for the ACCWH, but its mission statement has not. And it is still run by the same friendly Iroquois skeletons, self-fossilized in an incredible crystal lattice of impossible proportions.

Neither the CIA, GAMA or ACCWH ever planted fluoride into public drinking water. That was the National Dentist's Association, which is not a public institution at all but rather a nonprofit organization. Their headquarters is in Little Peak, Michigan. I was delighted to be invited to their Winter Ball, but had to respectfully decline in favor of attending the new Lindy-Hop themed water park in NYC.

Ironically, the CIA collects information on all three of these programs, all of which is available to the public. But CIA readouts are so obtuse and generally uninteresting that nobody bothers to read them.

All of this information came to me in a hypnopompic vision, and is therefore assuredly accurate. I therefore see no reason to cite my sources, however, I will give you several follow-up links to quiet my internal professor:

Processing 6×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

Finally, finally Professor, I have found someone brave enough to speak out... about... damn... I think the omnipresent psychic secret police force is stealing my... Hey, that's a nice tie you're wearing Professor!

1/12/2009 9:35 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

I know for a fact that the CIA lies to America because they once stated that Frank Zappa's facial hair was a mere pine cone defribulator left on his face after they plastic surgerized his buttocks.

I don't know's just what I've heard around the grapes and vines.

anyway, happy presidential inauguralization day!!!

It's a New Start for everyone!!!!

Excepting the CIA...which will now, for no particular reason, be called the IAC (In-Active-Committee). Was there too many Ts in the word committee? I mean, not in the word itself, but in the way I spelled it? Do tell, little metal guy!

I love your New Year's beard! Is that something new??

1/20/2009 5:35 PM  
Anonymous Obama gesticulated...

What? Not a single mention of my inauguration?

2/01/2009 9:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous gesticulated...

Armageddon Thru To You

If you've been wondering why it seems like the world around us is unraveling, it's because the last days as foretold in the bible are now upon us. Just as it was 2000 years ago, many were unable to discern the signs of Jesus Christ's first coming (Mat 16:3), as will many concerning his second coming, which will occur very soon. Yes many have proclaimed a similar sentiment many times in the past, but their errors have no bearing on today other than to lull you into spiritual apathy, and that too was prophesied to occur in the last days.

If you're not a believer in Jesus Christ because you're an atheist, consider that the underlying impetus for your disbelief is most likely borne of pride and here's why:

When we die, if you as an atheist were right, then there is no upside or downside for anyone regarding the afterlife. We will all simply cease to exist

However if we Christians were right about our belief in the afterlife, then we will be given eternal life and you as an atheist will receive eternal damnation

Given the choices, the position held by an atheist is a fools bet any way you look at it because the atheist has everything to lose and nothing to gain. It is tantamount to accepting a “heads I win, tails you lose” coin toss proposition from someone. And that someone by the way is Satan (see Ephesians 6:12).

The only way to explain the attitude held by an atheist is pride, pure and simple. The intellectually dishonest and/or tortured reasoning used by atheists to try and disprove the existence of God is nothing more than attempts to posture themselves as superior (a symptom of pride). And as anyone who has read their bible knows, this is precisely the character flaw that befell Lucifer, God's formerly most high angel. (Isaiah 14:12-15). Is it any wonder then why the bible is so replete with references to pride as the cause of mankind's downfall?

Pride permeates our lives and burdens us in ways that most of us seldom recognize. Ironically, pride is the one thing that can blind someone to things even the unsighted can see. And sadly pride will blind many with an otherwise good heart, to accepting the offer of eternal salvation that Christ bought and paid for with his life.

In any event, if you're an atheist, I wish you only the best for every day of the rest of your life because for you, this life is as close to heaven as you'll ever get, but for believers in Christ, this life is as close to hell as we'll ever get.

If you're not a believer and follower of Jesus Christ because you are of another faith, please take the time to very carefully compare your faith to Christianity and ask yourself, why is the bible the only religious book with both hundreds of proven prophecies already fulfilled as well as those being fulfilled today? No other religion can claim anything remotely close to this fact. Many Christians who are serious students of bible prophecy are already aware of the role and significance of bible prophecy in foretelling end time events. God gave us prophecy as evidence of his divine holiness to know the begining from the end (Isa 46:10). God also believed prophecy to be so important that to those willing to read the most prophetic book in the bible, the Book of Revelation, he promised a special blessing (see Rev 1:3), and this is the only book in the bible that God gives its reader a special blessing for reading. Something to think about.

Don't risk losing Christ's offer of eternal life by not accepting him as your savior and by thinking that the bible is nothing more than a compilation of unrelated and scattered stories about people who lived 2,000 plus years ago. If you take the time to study (not just read) the bible, you will literally be shocked to learn things you would have never imagined would be revealed in it. Did you know that like parables, God also uses particular months and days in the Jewish calendar, Jewish Feasts and customs, solar and lunar phases, celestial alignments, gematria (Hebrew numerology) early bible events and more as patterns and models to foretell future events?

Consider the following interesting facts about the bible that testify to its God-inspired authorship:

Did you know that in Gen 12:2, God said he would bless Israel?. How else can you explain the grossly disproportionate level of success achieved by Jewish people as a tiny minority in the world, especially after all they have gone through? And how can you explain the success achieved by the tiny nation of Israel, surrounded by enemies outnumbering them 100 to 1 and yet still they remain victorious in all their wars?

Did you know that as evidence to indicate that Israel is the epicenter of the world from God's point of view is the fact that languages to the west of Israel are written and read from left to right as if pointing to Israel, and languages from countries to the east of Israel are written and read from right to left, again as though pointing to Israel. Just a coincidence, you say? I think not.

Did you know that the six days of creation and seventh day of rest in Genesis is a model for the six thousand years of this age (ending very soon), that is to be followed by a 1,000 year millennial reign by Christ (see 2 Peter 3:8)? Adam was born sometime prior to 4000 B.C., therefore our 6000 years are almost up.

Did you kow that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is hidden in the meaning of the Hebrew names listed in the genealogy of the book of Genesis (Research it online)? To deny this was God-inspired, one has to instead believe that a group of Jewish rabbis conspired to hide the Christian Gospel right inside a genealogy of their venerated Torah, which is not a very plausible explanation.

Did you know that solar eclipses, which the bible describes as the sun being black as sackcloth, and lunar eclipses, which the bible refers to as blood red moons, have prophetic meaning? Research it online. God showed Adam (and us) his plan for man's redemption through the use of celestial alignments. (research Mazzaroth online)

Did you know that much of the symbolism in the book of revelation refers to planetary alignments that will occur when certain events occur as prophesied? These planetary alignments also explained the birth of Christ, just search out The Bethlehem Star movie on the Internet.

Did you know that the references in Eze 39:4-17 and Rev 19:17-21 in the battle of Gog/Magog and Armageddon respectively, in which birds of prey will eat the flesh of the dead in battle from two enormous wars is based on fact? The largest bird migration in the world consisting of bilions of birds (34 species of raptors and various carrion birds) from several continents converge and fly over Israel every spring and fall. Coincidence? I think not.

Did you know that Hebrew numerology, also known as Gematria, and the numbers with biblical and prophetic significance are hidden in the Star of David? Google the video called "Seal of Jesus Christ"

Did you know that the seven Churches mentioned at the beginning of the Book of Revelation describe the seven stages the Church will go through?

There are literally hundreds of hidden messages in the bible like these that testify to the fact that the bible was God inspired, and statistically speaking, are all exponentially beyond the likelihood of any coincidence. You can find them yourselves if you only take the time to look into it. Remember Proverbs 25:2 "It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings".

And finally, if you are Catholic, or one who subscribes to the emergent Church or seeker-friendly Church movement, please compare the doctrine taught, advocated or accepted by your Church, with the actual bible, notwithstanding some new-age version of the bible. And remember that although the bible is often referred to as the living bible, the word "living" was never intended to imply in any way that the bible "evolves" over time to meet, or be consistent with, the standards of man. It's just the opposite.

Well, am I getting through to you? If not, the answer might be explained in the response given by Jesus Christ in his Olivet discourse when he was asked by his disciples why he spoke the way he did (in parables, etc.) in the book of Matthew 13:10-16. What Jesus said could have easily been paraphrased more clearly as "so that the damned won't get it". Why did Christ respond the way he did when asked why he spoke this way? Is there something about pride (the bible says there is) that closes one's heart to seeing or hearing the messages supernaturally hidden in bible parables, models, typologies, and similes, etc.? That should give you something to think about, but don't take too long. Time is now very short.

If it sometimes seems like there are powers at work behind the powers we know, remember what it says in Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." If you study the bible, it will become clearer.

And by the way, if you are a scoffer, this too was prophesied to occur in the last days. See 2 Peter 3:3.

Thank you and God Bless you! (at)

2/07/2009 11:27 PM  
Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

Why on earth are you dead?

2/23/2009 5:01 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I need to do a lot more blogging...

2/23/2009 9:19 PM