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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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You’re Not Getting This Pen Back

You know the pen I’m talking about.

The one I borrowed from you about a month ago? The blue one with black ink, the fountain pen you got as a graduation present from your grandpa? With your initials embossed on the cap?

The one you’ve been searching furiously for since last Monday?

That pen is mine now. I’ve got it in a coffee cup with about twenty or thirty others. Not just pens, either. Some are pencils (both mechanical and No. 2) that I’ve collected from other people, much like this delightful new pen. Some have never even been sharpened.

Your pen, though... it’s unlike any other piece in my collection. When I write with it, I feel inspired. I feel as though I could write something on par with Shakespeare, or at least sitcom-worthy. Do you ever get that feeling?

I ask that rhetorically, of course. How could you, without this pen?

Don’t bother printing this post tomorrow and waving it in my face; I’ll deny ever writing it, blaming “old unreliable Google” for mucking up my blog feed and inserting someone else’s post. And while you scream until your face turns purple, your pen will be rusting into crusty dust.

By the way... I really like that new stapler you got last week at the supply store down the street. I have a drawer full of staplers just like it.

And they’re lonely.

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Processing 2×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

You suck ass bastard, gimme my pen back!

8/25/2008 7:37 PM  
Blogger G3T Films gesticulated...

But... but... but... but... it's my stapler.

8/31/2008 6:56 PM