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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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The Legend of the Were-whale

Some say the were-whale came from outer space. Behind the moon, on the darkest crevice of that, cold, malicious place. Where only the strongest of organism can survive.

The whale lurks below the depths of every sea and every ocean. Through underwater caverns, the were-whale has created, he is everywhere and anywhere. He is capable of nearly 300 mph and can jump 400 feet into the air.

His main diets consist of kelp, plankot and human blood. he usually disguises him self as a dcotor to get into blood bank.... it has only worked once

if anyone is too see the were-whale, please stay away and call your local were-whale specilist to give his location.

if we work together, we can live in harmony with the were-mammals of the world


Finality Unbound

At first there is that searing spark
Of blinding, swelling, constant dark.
It hits you like a ton of bricks
Backwards down a punji pit.

The nascent tomes, the burning quest
To fall behind yet stay abreast.
Bound in place you’re forced to run
In clogs cemented down with gum.

Who's so cute?! Who's that there?!“Who’s so cute?! Who’s that there?!”
Over the years they all came and went
The way of the dodo and left the place spent.
I made eighty friends to help pass the time
While I burrowed that hole to escape from my mind.

Then it got slightly better
Before it got worse.
But worse still was the letter
I got from Bratwurst.

“You looked quite the fop in your Opera T-shirt,”
His handwriting said through the blurry ink spurts.
“Your last day was something, but I heard you got fired.
“Oh no,” I wrote back, “my job simply expired.”

“I’ll soon land another, I’ve always been clever
And now that I’ve got that degree in whatever...”
“I much prefer radians” was the only response
I got out of him at our group’s last seance.

OMG! Internet Explorer 8 is Acid2 compliant!“OMG! Internet Explorer 8 is Acid2 compliant!
Which brings me full circle back to the first part
So I hope you’ll remember that spark at the start.

A house with no ceilings is not soundly built
Nor can shoelace-less hobos weave leaves to a quilt.
Pigs that can’t fly will soon learn to drown
Over fish that can’t swim on the sun-baked high ground.



Product Component #234-9G: “Ocular Refocuser”

Far above the Earth, a band of electrically charged particles dances every time a burst of solar energy tickles the stratosphere. Light passes through the Nitrogen and its atomic bonds begin to weaken and the surrounding ozone develops a sweet, saccharine smell. Microbes the size of dust eggs make this heavenly place their own, feeding off passerby meteors... and each other.

It’s a place far removed from the busy emotions of humankind; you can see clear across the galaxy, from one quasar to another. And the stars don’t twinkle unless they’ve heard a very funny joke.

In the hall of such majesty, wouldn’t you just feel the urge to... take the magic out of it? Put each smote of unearthly wisdom into meticulously detailed categories? Burn down the forest to see the trees?

Roboshrub Inc. is always happy to help you do things! One of our founding principles is “never turn down money, barter or IOU’s.” And with this latest product component, you, the customer/stockholder/vagabond, will witness firsthand Roboshrub Incorporated’s commitment to Interwebbing Readability. After reading a sneak preview article on features coming to OpenOffice, our Innovation & Original Imaginings Division spent three days working on the following proposal: “let’s do that, but louder!

A table! With bands!
To the untrained eye, this may seem like a table full of data. That would just be... foolish at this point. No, that’s a picture of a table full of data. The actual table is... no, stop clicking on the picture.

If you must click on something, go try out the page that made the data table that picture is based on: the Ocular Refocuser! The purpose of this component is to spruce up the table functionality in my rich text web apps/Opera Widgets, allowing better readability by highlighting every other row or column (trying to highlight both will get you a checkerboard pattern, very sharp!) and creating special headers. Right now the border and background colors cannot be changed, but don’t worry; like a caterpillar in a monsoon, it’s only temporary.

This semi-project will eventually be merged into Project Vont (as seen on blog), along with a bunch of other stuff we haven’t thought of yet, which will all then become the basis for the next version of Project Velt (which really needs an overhaul).

Major project development will begin exactly one week from today, according to our sources in the future, who wish to remain anonymous due to fear of paradox.

Due to a snowstorm postponing my finals for today, I was able to — get this — spend time adding about 20 color themes to this thingy. Of course, I haven’t added any purple or neutral color themes yet, but at least the system is in place.


I'm Such A Character

I wasn’t planning to do any widget work until after I won the beauty pageant, but a recent face transplant from a baboon killed that dream.

So I present to you what I did last night instead of practice my acceptance/concession speeches:

Character Map Screenshot
It does exactly what it looks like it does.
There’s not all that much to say about this. I found the existing character map widgets cumbersome and unappealing, so I took it upon myself to make a new one.

What makes my Character Map better than all the others? Love. Unlike all other character maps, this one will express love. Not physical or mental love, but the kind you get from biting into a lukewarm waffle.

You can use it online, or download the widget.

I’d like to leave you now with a random arrangement of symbols: æâèǬǦǡɆɌӽӲҫҤ➐➍⁂⁁℻ℍ℆.

Opera doesn’t seem to want my widget shown publicly yet. I assume it’s because of that widget competition I heard was going on... inconsequential! The masses will soon rejoice at my endeavor! Opera, by blocking my widget, you’re... you’re...

You're ruining everything!

It's all available and stuff now. Heads up: I plan to use that picture again when the specs on IE8 are released.