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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

Print Logo


Wig Shoppe

It’s a wig shoppe!
That’s where it’s at!
Don’t need no hat!
And you’ll look less fat
After eating the infinite pie.

At the wig shoppe!
You’ll make new friends!
There’s no split ends!
Our new psychic portends
Your next coin toss will end in a tie.

Near the wig shoppe!
There’ll be ten parades!
See the ice capades!
Buy a case of toupees
And watch them build their own hive.

In the wig shoppe!
You can hear the skulls rattle!
Brand a whole herd of cattle!
We teach hair plugs how to tattle
On their owners for their stunning lack of pride.

Shop till you drop!
Watch a bald spot pop!
Kick a mammoth!
In your pajamas!

Own the wig shoppe!
We are going out of business!
Closing up right after Christmas!
Put that hairpiece on your wish list
And maybe Santa will shave his beard and staple it to your head.

Santa! No!
Some people will find this disturbing.


Processing 26×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12/02/2006 7:57 AM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Oh why oh why was I cursed with a lucious, full head of hair!


12/02/2006 7:58 AM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...

Oh dear.
I find this disturbing.

I just LOVE those adverts on the tube for the "hair pill". Guys grow hair whilst on this pill. They say side effects include 'sexual disfunction'.

I can just hear the guy saying, "Honey! Look at all this HAIR!"
She says, "OH! BABY! Let's ****!"
He says, "Sorry, no can do...but, LOOK! HAIR!"


12/02/2006 6:35 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Has anyone ever seen a wig hive? The Queen Wig is by far the most sought-after member of the barber kingdom.

12/02/2006 7:59 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ! sound of bees or electric scizzzors.

12/02/2006 8:50 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Kick a mammoth,
in your pajamas?

Somebody's got it goin' on!

12/02/2006 11:30 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...


12/03/2006 12:22 AM  
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12/04/2006 12:46 AM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

SPIDER! Gyrobo, I thought our new security was impenetrable!?!

12/04/2006 1:18 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I just heard an explosion in the direction of this blog! Are you guys okay?!? Those damn spider spammers! We must destroy them, and all blogs that harbor them!

12/04/2006 1:23 AM  
Blogger 13 gesticulated...

toupe or not toupe...

12/04/2006 9:08 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One gesticulated...

I like wigs, even more so if they help me look like Carrot Top.

And let me say to you Roboshrub. I am getting tired of your war on "Happy Holidays", with your brazen use of a Saint's beard and your push for commercialism in the form of "faux" spam. I know it is all a clever ruse. *shakes head in a shame making manner*

And my WordVert was VGOPPEA, as if that were an random act also. Good day to you sir!! Good Day!!!

12/04/2006 2:08 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Spiders?! This bodes ill for us all! The machines can now read! Why have you betrayed us, Blogger?!

We trusted you!

12/04/2006 3:21 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

I would say something but I don't want to emotionally scar your circuits any more than I already have.

12/04/2006 4:59 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

And I would say something in response to Rich, but nothing was said.

12/04/2006 5:12 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

And I would say something...

but I was told there would be free donuts?

12/04/2006 7:18 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Truly not one whit I say,
not one whit for you today.
Not a whit,
a jot or bit.
Not a wig,
or guinea pig.
Not a Hee, a Ho or Hum.
Today we've got none of thum.
Not a bright and bold bouquet
and Not a jingling Xmas sleigh.
And certainly not that Merry Claus
or his seasonal guffaws.
It's cause I'm sad that my toupee
caught by the wind was blown away

So, sorry you got zilch today.

12/04/2006 7:25 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

I call this one, Ode to Capitalism.

12/04/2006 8:11 PM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...

That is the BIGGEST spam I've ever SEEN!!! :-O *GASP*
(...and I don't say that to everybody!!!)

12/05/2006 12:02 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Oh I bet she does.

12/05/2006 1:08 AM  
Blogger jin gesticulated...


BAD Hippo!
Very very BAD!

12/05/2006 3:45 AM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi gesticulated...

Under the Historical Annoyance Act of 1982, removal of this gigantic spam is prohibited. Due to its ostentatiousness and length, this qualifies as "an historic spam" as defined by HAA.

I'm fully within my rights as a secret agent to make that kind of call. Just ask my supervisor- oh, wait, you can't, because it's CLASSIFIED!

12/05/2006 5:50 PM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

Funny, I just read a post from one of my friends about wigs. It's here.

I guess I need to go out and buy a wig. Maybe a short one to put over my ponytail?

12/05/2006 9:42 PM  
Blogger Polyman3 gesticulated...

Does a chest wig qualify?

Ps. You've been violated by anonymous.

12/06/2006 8:54 AM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi gesticulated...

Let me check the handbook...

Nope, chest wigs are not in violation of HAA. But they are in violation of the Transcontinental Railroad, so I insist you desist.

12/06/2006 1:27 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

May the light of day shine upon your merkin!

12/06/2006 8:01 PM