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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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I'm An Exceptional Person

Behold, all ye unclean! Gaze upon your king's latest post, and know that ye are unworthy; for lo! I have composed a list, yes, a list, to outline the minutiae that thee must perform to please me! Grovel at how I laugh at thee! Grovel, I say!
Clock King

The King's Guide To Excellent Drudgery

  1. It is polite to tip the tax collector.
  2. Do not rebel against the monarchy once another rebellion has begun.
  3. If the plague comes 'round, stay indoors.
  4. It is not proper to address a Duke as "Your Baldness."
  5. When someone in power asks you to jump, don't ask "how high." A recent poll indicates the powerful have no desire to see the inside of your mouth.
  6. The Divine Right of Kings allows royalty to cut ahead of you in line at amusement parks.
  7. Membership in a Congress or Parliament doesn't qualify you for royalty benefits, unless you're a Libra.
  8. Never forget that my iron-clad, irrational rule is the only thing standing between us and the barbarians.
  9. While monarchs across the world may have lost our legislative powers, our X-Ray vision and super-strength is still top-notch. Obey us.
  10. By eating at Burger King, you've already accepted the tenets of monarchy.

Processing 10×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

But the sign said that I needed a membership card to get inside.

9/14/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

Ok grovel grovel.

9/14/2006 9:46 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

If I ate at McDonalds am I an enemy to the throne?

I am so unworthy.

9/14/2006 10:41 AM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

Grovel like you means it!


Okay, time for a royal nap.


9/14/2006 1:27 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

Your Iron-dad stands between us and the barbarians?! Oh what joyess times these are when paternally oriented font selection keep the hordes at bay.

You expect me to grovel? Bah!

Remember when someone is on their knees before you it's easier for them to pull the rug out from under your feet.

I learnt that from Scooby-Doo.

9/14/2006 6:29 PM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

Scooby-Doo is heresy! So sayeth I.

9/14/2006 9:03 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

Begone from my fair kingdom!

I mean, company!

Unless you have money. We always pander to the affluent.

9/14/2006 9:44 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Kings are arrogant basturds. I won't grovel. & I don't eat at Burger King.

9/15/2006 12:26 AM  
Blogger Steven Novak gesticulated...

Damn...If I had known the "your baldness" thing earlier, it would have saved me an assload of heartache.


9/15/2006 2:15 PM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One gesticulated...

So If I grovel I get Burger King foodstuff. *grovel grovel grovel* Now give me my Happyness meal with a toy, your Baldness.

9/15/2006 2:26 PM