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Credits

Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

Print Logo

6.12.2006

You Decide

Was the following a dream? Was there conscious thought behind it? Or maybe a little of both? You be the judge.

***

"I just don't think it's practical to build a fence on the border-"

"Get out of the pool!"

Everyone at the summit jumped up, startled.

"What is the meaning of this?!" bellowed Yob Ron. He didn't like his poolside political discussions interrupted, especially by... who was that?

"I said get out!" screamed the strange man, flailing his arms up and down.

The partygoers looked at Yob Ron, wondering why he didn't call his robotic butlers in to escort the nuisance out. "He's lost control of the situation," they whispered to each other.

"You've shamed me, and my family tree," sneered Yob Ron at the stranger. The man bowed his head in shame, and held himself in that position until Yob Ron had finished berating him.

"...furthermore, we found the floppies in the computers in the library. You know what we found on them?"

The man didn't know.

"Evidence. We have all the evidence we need to convict, friend."

"But... you need to get out of the pool."

"Why is that, my old friend?"

"There are sharks... there are sharks in the pool."

"Randal, I've swam through this pool a thousand times. Never once did I see a shark."

"The prophesy," he cooed. Randal took a pen out of his pocket and began writing big red numbers all over the grass. As he completed each one, their edges glowed bright orange.

"Yes?"

"I've been to them," he said, capping the pen. "I've seen them."

"The sharks?" Yob Ron was getting impatient.

"No. The polar bears. Global warming is making them move south. They're starting to fly now."

"Comment your lines, Randal."

"I will at that!" Randal reached into his vest pocket and cringed. Yob Ron could hear a squishing sound. When Randal removed his hand from his vest, it had a cantaloupe in it.

"This cantaloupe is yours, I believe."

"I... I don't... this is so unexpected..."

"Just do me one favor, before you accept it."

"Anything."

"Get out of the pool."

Processing 27×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...



Nobody tells me to get out of my pool! Not even you, Mr. Cheney!

6/12/2006 3:16 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

: )

6/12/2006 5:09 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Strange dream, indeed.I am an interpretor of dreams. Did you know that?
Lets see pool/water? Embryonic fluid! The pool is the womb. Who's in the pool? a stranger.
Ah, a stranger in your mother's womb.
& the sharks, now thats interesting too.
they must of swum up the birth canal.

It was a dream & a very disturbing one at that. I would get something checked if i were you.

6/12/2006 11:14 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Maybe someone just pooped in it.

6/13/2006 4:36 PM  
Blogger Metapirate gesticulated...

No, buddy, I done seen the shark. There was ten people in the pool last week. Now on'y nine come out. Weren't a shark, then what, comprende?!

6/13/2006 7:21 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

Ha! I loved the way you brought that whole thing full circle.

6/13/2006 7:22 PM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

I will one day control all the circles! The public circles, the crop circles, the circular flow model that allows for measurement of real GDP... all mine! Bwa ha ha!

To the fortress!

6/13/2006 7:35 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

CrimminYs! I forgot the cantalope. you do know what the cantalope means, don't you?

Elementary, the cantalope is the egg.
The egg of the womb.
the soft pliable egg.

"Luke, Randal is your father."

That one was easy, you got another one?

It's the navigating thro all this identity crap that's hard.

6/13/2006 10:17 PM  
Blogger Metapirate gesticulated...

Okay, who took my shoes?! I know I had 'em on when I got here. Now they're gone.

I demand answers!

6/13/2006 11:24 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

borrowing the shoes of guests is good wrong Shui. It keeps them on their toes.

6/13/2006 11:39 PM  
Blogger Happy T. Fluke gesticulated...

My photocopier is jammed. It's times like this I'm apt to get emotional. Luckily, I have thirty-seven back up photocopiers, many of which are no longer available on the free market.

Yes, I bask. I bask in the light of a thousand photocopiers.

6/14/2006 12:56 AM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

You may bask in the light of a thousand photocopiers, but I bask in the light of eternal happiness!

And so can you for ten easy payments of $99.99

6/14/2006 8:45 AM  
Blogger A Army Of (Cl)One gesticulated...

You have been tagged

6/14/2006 12:19 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

tagging is bad wrong shui

steer clear of anyone who tags you or is from California, or keeps gloves in the glove department of the car.

6/14/2006 1:17 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I say...get the sharks out of the pool, I want to stay in! :)

6/14/2006 7:46 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

(First of all, no, I'm not dead...and I didn't fall off the face of the Earth.)

The fact that there were flying polar bears leads me to believe that this wasn't a dream, however, the outdated floppy discs that are mentioned in the beginning of the story lead me to believe that it most definitely WAS a dream.

Cantaloupe is a great source of vitamin C.

Excellent post.

(BTW--why have I been removed from the list of blogs that you admire? Oh my gosh, three visits to the hospital this month and I get home to find that I have been banished from the Gyrobosphere. Oh my gosh...call the ambulance...I need more meds!!!!!)

:`(

6/14/2006 8:44 PM  
Blogger Maskatron gesticulated...

Can I borrow a cup of .0015 hz resistors?

6/14/2006 11:22 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

gyrobo & pirate guy; Thanks for the advice. Everything is fixed except I can't paste. Is it a problem with the mouse? I can't find a cut & paste file.

6/14/2006 11:25 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

I had a dream last night about two competing cake companies, it ended when it came to light that they were both owned by the same oil company.

Damn, played like a puppet!

6/15/2006 12:56 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

The sharks aren't in the pool, they are circling Mills McCartney!

6/15/2006 8:34 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The sleeper awakens!

6/15/2006 8:56 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Oh shite...my bad...I wasn't removed...perhaps I need LESS MEDS!!!

:)

Sorry for the virtual panic attack...

6/15/2006 1:46 PM  
Blogger Mr. Paul Freeman, CEO gesticulated...

Wow. This is the point when I would be getting INTO the pool, and hunting for those floppy disks.

I like the sound of it. Is there any cantaloupe left??

6/15/2006 3:28 PM  
Blogger Mr. Paul Freeman, CEO gesticulated...

P.S. Also if your product development group manages to mass-produce those pens (or if you can smuggle me a prototype) with the glowing red ink and stuff, I would very much like to have it. I think it be keen to sign contracts with. And try to write on my secretary's blotter when she's not looking

6/15/2006 3:30 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

How does the robot know what to say?

6/15/2006 4:45 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...


MASKATRON!

Hey Gyro-
Did a tribute post to you.

6/15/2006 4:50 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The robot stole all the cantaloupe.
For the troupe.

6/15/2006 7:27 PM