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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Product #6317-08a “Martial Arts House Paint”

Oh, no! Your boss is coming over for dinner tonight- and your entire house is falling apart! However will you pull off the perfect evening and get your boss to overlook your shortcomings at work—most noticeably, your poor attendance and utter incompetence—and manage that huge raise you’ve always wanted?

Simple. Roboshrub Incorporated is the proprietary supplier of Martial Arts House Paint. Formulated in late 2005, MAHP holds the rare distinction of being the only house paint in existence endorsed by both the International Federation of Senseis and the Japanese Mafia, the Yakuza.

It’s Ninja Approved.

Derived from seasoned berries and orchard blossoms throughout southeast Asia and northern Siberia, Martial Arts House Paint comes in twelve ninja-licious shades from “Gyakuzuki Vermilion” to “Kihon Kumite Tan” to the even more vivacious, “Ushiro Geri Electric Pink.” Don’t delay- order a can today, and save, save, save!

Processing 9×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Fred gesticulated...

Can I order this by calling 1-800-ROBOSHRUB?

1/30/2006 7:58 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

You'll have to use our catalogue... which doesn't exist... yet.

1/30/2006 8:07 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Yes... and it's a good idea. Throughout the whole time I was putting the slogan array together, I kept adding "Proud creators of..." things. I figure it's high time I wrote about the alleged products.

1/30/2006 8:10 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. gesticulated...

Can anyone use it?

1/31/2006 9:31 AM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

i have kung fu paint on my pad. keeps it together.

theres not enough room for two fred here.

1/31/2006 10:53 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Thus far, the paint has only been used by black-belts. But that's not to say a person of average physical and mental prowess couldn't handle it.

As long as the utmost care is given to the intensity of the strokes.

1/31/2006 10:59 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

If I act now, does the offer include a free set of Ginsu Knives??

1/31/2006 12:22 PM  
Blogger Roger Moore gesticulated...

Stop reading our top secret memos! We had a similar product in development, but now it's useless. Or were you hired by Mr. Freeman to keep us on our toes? Brilliant!

1/31/2006 12:33 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The corporate world cannot quench our innovation! Zero Unlimited will soon yielf and yield to the awesome might of Roboshrub Incorporated!

Because February is "Super Product Month".

1/31/2006 1:01 PM