I can’t go into specifics, but needless to say I have a newspaper from the future.
Notice the date — November 25! OooooOOOOOO!
What eye-opening revelations have I brought back from the day after three days from now? I’m glad you asked! It shows initiative, though I fear I cannot tell you (or anyone else for that matter!) what was in the rest of the paper. Imagine the following conversation:
“Hello,” I say heartily. “I was just in the future.”
You scoff! “That’s not true at all. You’ve always lied to me in the past...”
“But this time is different! Normally I’d be pulling your leg, but today is different somehow.”
“Yesterday you told me that you could time travel, and I believed you, and then you told me you were just lying.”
Now I scoff at you. “Well, pudding tandy! I’ve changed my ways. Here’s prrrrroooof!”
You take one look at the paper and I’m instantly vindicated. But while skimming the front page, you see something you oughtn’t have — and it changes the future.
That’s why all I can show you is the comics section. If I let you know more about the events surrounding the rest of this week, it might cause the space-time continuum to collapse and maybe de-mutate our nation’s ninja turtles.
But if you see men in hazmat suits barging into your neighbors’ house, you’ll know it involves you.
The point is, I’m trying to dispel these vicious rumors that I can’t time-travel. Sure I run the risk of crushing all life into a singularity to validate my ego, but Thomas Hobbes would tell me to go for it. That’s basically Leviathan in a nutshell.