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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Virtual Delicatessan

At 04:30 EST this morning, every tongue on the North American continent licked its owner's lips reflexively. This was in response of the birth of the beta model of the Sim Sandwich, Roboshrub Incorporated's latest innovation.

Wow! Does it come with a visor? And some rediculous gloves?!

There's no visor, and no rediculous gloves. The Sim Sandwich isn't a hologram or a trick of the light. It's a fold in reality created when a "mayo" quark collides with an anti-"provolonian" quark. By bombarding an empty ziploc bag with these mysterious particles in a controlled laboratory process known as "Kissing the Cook," a physical object of pure information is created.

Full of Nutramins, Uberfibres, and Other Nonexistant Dietary Necessities.

It's so simple, even a child can enjoy it. There are three easy steps to enjoying the SimSandwich: Masticate, Digest and Excrete.

"But, sir," you might ask (you are respectful, aren't you?), "Is it safe to masticate, digest and excrete a powerful rift in space-time?"

Safe? Why, it isn't just safe! It's delicious! Haven't you ever wanted to eat a pocket of condensed possibility so intangible that it simultaneously tasted of every single clammin' thing in the known our universe? I know I have. And the best part is, there's no foreseeable way that these sandwiches could become sentient and grow to hate their masters.

You really should buy our extended warranty.

Processing 17×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger L>T gesticulated...

the cones? who are the cones?

7/09/2006 1:19 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Ceb`2/ehpecr"nfjl e'`"E1

7/09/2006 1:21 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Sweet Animated Gif.

I got a professional animated gif maker program you can have...if you want it. I'm experimenting with Flash...I'll have my first Flash movie on Monday.

7/09/2006 10:34 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

There! I have improved your post with two Timages of my own creation!

Also, I'm finishing that post you started a month ago. It's shaping up nicely.

7/09/2006 11:48 AM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

I want an X32 : )

7/09/2006 7:45 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Does the sim sandwich come with gravy?

7/10/2006 7:06 PM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

Does the sim sandwich have the maximum number of bug legs approved by the FDA?

7/10/2006 7:08 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

We prefer to think of it as a minimum, not a maximum.

7/10/2006 7:21 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Scone? who are they?

7/10/2006 10:59 PM  
Blogger SafeTinspector gesticulated...

Hardly safe, if you stop and think about it for a moment.
I mean, assume that the rift is a singularity. How would you keep your small intestine from collapsing into a mass of plasma?
'Course, it would be a simple matter to line the digestive track with a balanced magnetic feild. Probably should do it anyway, as a nifty side effect would be that your ass could be used as an effective rail-gun should you ever eat some ferrous metals.

7/10/2006 11:27 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi gesticulated...

The scones?! Who said anything about scones?! No, there's nothing to see here! Not a thing!

7/11/2006 8:41 AM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

I ain't seen nothin since 1976.

That's the year I stared down Reginald's Comet.

7/11/2006 7:01 PM  
Blogger wallycrawler gesticulated...

That sandwich sounds an awful lot like a pita . Is it like a pita ? If it is hold da mayo and replace it with ranch , thanx . I love ranch dressing in a pita !

7/12/2006 11:16 AM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

And I just thought I was hungry.

7/12/2006 2:18 PM  
Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

Ha, those monsters will never get me as long as I have my trusty protonic bazooka with--

Uh, anyone see my protonic bazooka anywhere?

7/12/2006 5:08 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Guh! Internet connection is intermittent! I keep getting cut off, which is why I haven't been posting... no time to read comments. Must leave explanation before I get cut off again!

7/12/2006 5:41 PM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

What are the calories like on that kind of sandwhich? Uh, I'm not asking for myself. This friend of mine is on a diet and just wants to know.

7/12/2006 7:06 PM