Wow! Does it come with a visor? And some rediculous gloves?!
There's no visor, and no rediculous gloves. The Sim Sandwich isn't a hologram or a trick of the light. It's a fold in reality created when a "mayo" quark collides with an anti-"provolonian" quark. By bombarding an empty ziploc bag with these mysterious particles in a controlled laboratory process known as "Kissing the Cook," a physical object of pure information is created.
Full of Nutramins, Uberfibres, and Other Nonexistant Dietary Necessities.
It's so simple, even a child can enjoy it. There are three easy steps to enjoying the SimSandwich: Masticate, Digest and Excrete.
"But, sir," you might ask (you are respectful, aren't you?), "Is it safe to masticate, digest and excrete a powerful rift in space-time?"
Safe? Why, it isn't just safe! It's delicious! Haven't you ever wanted to eat a pocket of condensed possibility so intangible that it simultaneously tasted of every single clammin' thing in the known our universe? I know I have. And the best part is, there's no foreseeable way that these sandwiches could become sentient and grow to hate their masters.
You really should buy our extended warranty.