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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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A Day in the Life

It's about time you, the customer, got an idea of how we here at Roboshrub run things. We monitored Dr. Fickle Quantum in his daily routine to better exemplify the lives of our employees.

4:26 AM: Wakened by explosion.
4:33 AM: Returned to sleep.
5:21 AM: Had 2,000 volts run through him as part of the testing phase for the new shockwaker. Continued to slumber peacefully.
7:57 AM: Reawakened, proceeded to community bathroom.
7:59 AM: Waited in line to utilize community bathroom.
8:40 AM: Received access to bathroom.
9:02 AM: Rushed from bathroom, slipped on common room tiling.
11:24 AM: Reawakened in medical ward. Painkillers administered.
11:50 AM: Checked in for work. Entered office.
11:52 AM: Began reading "New Projects" memo.
1:22 PM: Finished reading memo, crumpled it into a ball, threw it at waste paper basket.
1:23 PM: Retrieved paper ball memo and attempted to throw it again.
1:23 PM: Placed paper ball memo in proper receptacle. Shouted three explicatives.
3:12 PM: Left Detention area, promised never to speak obscenities while on duty.
3:15 PM: Applied experimental salve for laser-whip burns.
3:46 PM: Left medical ward with tentacles removed.
4:07 PM: Passed Dr. Sibil Hyde on way back to office, come-on rejected.
4:09 PM: Returned to office, began filling out forms.
4:10 PM: Threw forms on ground, played "Tetris."
4:42 PM: Kicked chair.
4:42 PM: Left office, proceeded to Research and Design Facility.
4:50 PM: Arrived in research and design.
4:57 PM: Drew finalized hovercar schematics.
5:50 PM: Yelled at Research and Design Director Grue Jhompson.
5:54 PM: Checked out of work.
6:00 PM: Entered Cafetorium. Ordered Eggs + Broccoli Sandwhich.
6:07 PM: Sat alone, began eating.
6:23 PM: Left cafetorium.
6:37 PM: Wandered halls randomly.
7:21 PM: Yelled into the Marketing Office, beginning heated arguement with Karl Uberdale.
8:52 PM: Reawakened in medical ward, legs replaced with motorcycles.
9:04 PM: Left medical ward, passed Dr. Hyde.
9:04 PM: Offered Dr. Hyde a ride to IHOP. Was turned down.
9:05 PM: Returned to common room, searched for key to his quarters.
9:10 PM: Knocked out by shockwaves of explosion.

Processing 18×100 Robo-Comments:

Anonymous Satan gesticulated...

Welcome to the 6th of the 6th of the 6th.

6/06/2006 2:08 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

Roboshrub makes his return on 6/6/6. How appropriate!

6/06/2006 4:26 AM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

I was just about to post:

Roboshrub is dead! Solve this code.

6/06/2006 4:55 AM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer gesticulated...

He may have been annoying, but I think he was correct to denounce my salt-powered eye gouger as unmarketable.

6/06/2006 8:59 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Sounds like my kinda guy. I wonder if he'd like a penpal?
Those prison dudes are no fun, always bitching about something. the most 'innocent' group I've ever met, tho. :)

6/06/2006 10:19 AM  
Blogger Private Hudson gesticulated...

Sybil Hyde, eh? She sounds like a hottie.

So, is she free?

6/06/2006 3:14 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

There's a right way to rock and a wrong way to roll, you can just listen to your soul...

6/06/2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger angel, jr. gesticulated...

How come he didn't have time to check the rainforest or to fertilize the whales? No one ever has time for these things.

6/06/2006 6:51 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I believe in Roboshrub! I believe in pellets! I think more and more that Roosevelt controls all of us!

6/06/2006 7:44 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Wow, that is exhausting!

6/06/2006 10:49 PM  
Blogger Happy T. Fluke gesticulated...

Randomly wandering the halls is a no-no in my books.

Even if I'm out for a health-bestowing walk, I'll try to do something productive, like rubbing my tounge across the front of my teeth to aid in cavity prevention.

Sometimes I also work on my yodeling!

6/07/2006 12:25 AM  
Blogger Professor Xavier gesticulated...

Only one meal a day? You guys are slave drivers!

6/07/2006 6:41 AM  
Blogger ticharu gesticulated...

We have abducted your puny Earth friend Ticharu and we holding him hostage on the far side of Jupiter. Do not attempt to send help. We will send instructions about where to send the cash in exactly 20,000 parsects of Earth time!

6/07/2006 1:40 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

We'll send the money, if you buy something first.

6/07/2006 8:39 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

Did you make the cartoon "perfect hair forever" ?

Because I think you did.

6/07/2006 8:39 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

That was a spinoff, but yes. We did.

6/07/2006 9:01 PM  
Anonymous Rich gesticulated...

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6/07/2006 11:31 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

The truth always is great. I have sex with it. The truths husband has no idea. She is good in the sack.

6/08/2006 5:45 PM