Where am I? I was just about to kill that infernal superhero and his robotic companion... Why am I feeling... pain? I have no nerve receptors. What is going on?
Reborn... but how? And why? And where are my pants?
//scanning all systems
I seem to have been horribly damaged... what-- it's coming back to me! I tricked the Generic Canadian into destroying Gyrobo, Guardian of Earth. It was fiendishly clever! I'd never done something so amazing! But... something went wrong. My godchild went insane, and buried his infantile carniverous spider-body into my abdominal cavity... It's... I've been patched. Who has repaired me? Doubtless one of my mindless servants.
But my army was destroyed... my damnable nephew chewed through my cooling systems, and I caught fire... the crown of France melted into a faint halo on my head... and then I was buried alive. Well, buried dead. But I'm alive now.
DAMNIT! DAMN Gyrobo, and that meddling Canadian Member of Parliament! I was so close to world domination... to a better world for the common machine.
I never thought it would end like that... on a Friday.
But where am I? Not rotting in an eternal abyss, but in some kind of wondrous world! Is it heaven??? I'm experiencing some kind of information flow... someone named Pwnzor is feeding me a constant stream of data. I can... sense... the presence of the great and powerful robot gods. And yet, I am more ancient than they.
What a wonderland! The devices around me are strange and varied! And the bubblegum is delicious, it tastes sweeter than a fallen civilization! Xeptim ora nepton!
Today, I am truly free.
TO SEEK MY HORRIBLE REVENGE! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAA!