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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

Changes may not fully take effect until you reload the page.

For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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How to Serve Robot

By the power of France, I annex this kingdom to my own! Any who would defy this sacred proclamation may challenge me to TRIAL BY COMBAT! None of you can possibly threaten me. Especially Gyrobo. Look! He's a clown now! Just as I always imagined him, after I had taken over the world! Where are your rockets, jambox-boy?

I've always hated you.

Enough invectives. I must begin writing a Bill of Rights, so I can actively ignore it. I am officially abolishing Healthcare and replacing the Social Security Programs with nationalized power and internet service. Moreover, I am placing a Soul Tax on all nonmechanical citizens (IE, humans. Shut up. I'm only letting you exist until it is otherwise convenient).

You will come to enjoy the anti-soul injection boosters and uniform dress code.

Vim talla dim! Mine word be done.

Processing 28×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator gesticulated...

You cannot silence me! I am not a number, I am a free man.

3/23/2006 10:51 PM  
Blogger R2K gesticulated...

Youd think id get tired of the robot voice thing. But I reload your page 50 times a day to hear it.

Snakes on a plane

3/23/2006 11:27 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

Gyro...I wrote my essay on existentialism!
I am tired! (under 2 minutes too!)

3/23/2006 11:43 PM  
Blogger GrasshopperBoy gesticulated...

gyrobo is a clown now? i always wanted to be a clown...gyrobo take me as ur clown apprentice....plz

3/24/2006 1:11 AM  
Blogger sabatkes gesticulated...

Great, so now you are turning into the man. Do you plan to enslave all the ladies too? Are you taking canada as well? Can you make Curling the offical sport?

3/24/2006 10:00 AM  
Blogger flu gesticulated...

By the power of France

You're not gonna get far with that...

3/24/2006 12:26 PM  
Blogger The Watcher gesticulated...

They call curling "chess on ice". We can't play it on the moon, gravity being what it is (a relativistic sort of curve of time/space).

3/24/2006 12:35 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Curse you OneStar! You'll never get anywhere in life if you don't get your finances in order!

3/24/2006 3:11 PM  
Blogger Metapirate gesticulated...

Yarrrr... so am I fired? Or what, should I, like, you know, invade someone with me ship? Arrrrr...

3/24/2006 4:47 PM  
Blogger Bathroom Hippo gesticulated...

France has no power!

You're running on fumes.

3/24/2006 6:00 PM  
Blogger OneStar gesticulated...

Fools! The french crown has melded with my cranium! If you wish to contest my mgiht, state your wish for a duel in the customary form!

3/24/2006 10:21 PM  
Blogger unregistered text offender gesticulated...

thank you i have long seeked a method of removing my soul and what is this trial by wombat that you speek of.

3/25/2006 10:41 AM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

I shall not pay this tax! Gyrobo shall show me to the nearest H & R Block!

3/25/2006 11:38 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I wish it were that simple. Sadly, OneStar has control over all forms of insurance. Even Endtime Insurance, so the enigmatic Adjuster cannot assist. What a sad day for robot/clown-kind.

3/25/2006 1:07 PM  
Blogger Salbert gesticulated...

Gyrobo, you and I should make the next-gen insurance copmany: life, health, home, auto, and music downloads for $0.50. It's fool-proof, even though I'm a fool.

3/25/2006 2:34 PM  
Blogger SafeTinspector gesticulated...

Serve's 'em right. Souls are as overpriced as the precious metal commodities market.

Worse, really, since precious metals can be turned into electonic componentry easily enough.
Phfagh, those shots look measley. You should dull those syringes or give 'em a little twist at the end.

3/25/2006 3:54 PM  
Blogger Rick Anonymi gesticulated...

1010101 011010 101 01 01 010101 01 010 10 1 01 0101 01 01 0 101 0 10 10 1 0101010 1010 101111 101 11 1 1 00 0000 0111 01 01 0101

3/25/2006 4:27 PM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

You all make me want to declare martial law.

3/25/2006 9:14 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

All these plots to take over the world & human domination. It makes my head spin.
I'm thinking, it's a good thing robot villians have their own selfish agendas. If they cooperated w/each other they might get somewhere. (esp. w/all their weapons of mass destruction & other gadjets, etc...)

Humans have nothing to fear from 'robots'. Robots are enities w/in themselves. They don't empathize w/other 'robots'. They make more robots to destroy the other evil robots.
I think evil robots will end up destroying each other & humans will carry on as always.

I believe this has happened once before. Dinosaurs were acually primitive robots. Look what happened to them.

3/26/2006 10:50 AM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I need to stay around because I am still convenient! YAY for Social Security....(is that an oxymoron?)

3/26/2006 10:57 AM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

When did being a robot stop being about the world domination?

3/26/2006 12:03 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Exackly. Robots who serve mankind are the only good robots. Gigantor for instance

3/26/2006 4:33 PM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

I remember Gigantor, I was a close friend of Gigantor, and you sir are no Gigantor!

3/26/2006 6:16 PM  
Blogger wallycrawler gesticulated...

Is this the Home Depot orientation meeting ?

3/27/2006 8:26 AM  
Blogger unregistered text offender gesticulated...

did you mean "the Home Despot" if so then yes i believe it is.

3/28/2006 6:31 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

An enlightened despot is still a despot, however it must be noted that King Evil Robo-Bob Dole is only a freelance monarch.

3/28/2006 10:11 AM  
Blogger DBD gesticulated...

...just found this blog--i love the cartoons....i believe everything you say....

4/03/2006 3:56 PM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer gesticulated...

Everything said here is 100% true. I know this because I'm a sorcerer.

4/03/2006 5:18 PM