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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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You'll Never Believe how Often this Kind of Thing Happens to Me

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe. The sun was shining brightly in the middle of the night and Old Father William was amusing his grandchildren with his acrobatics and wit. I made my way to the pier where the karate kid practiced his jump front kick-- which is not a difficult feat, but I admire his balance-- and thought for a while. Mostly about Mr. Miyagi's recent death.

It's hard to believe. Mr. Miyagi was not a person you would expect to die, ever. First you learn that your parents are mortal, then yourself, but nowhere in the manual does it say that Mr. Miyagi isn't the invulnerable, constant force of nature I thought he was. I never knew him, but had slept a little easier knowing that if I ever had a life-changing crisis I could always approach the man.

As in uffish thought I stood, a procession of shellfish wandered haphazardly by. In their wake, a little plastic knife washed ashore. I've always contended that the world will end buried in those tiny white plastic utensils, because only the spoons are really useful. The forks and knives are too flimsy and cheap to accomplish anything, but we're forced to purchase all of them in one go. Humanity, by clinging to their outdated foodware, is killing our planet.

I got to midthought before the sun exploded.

I never could get the hang of Tuesdays.

Processing 18×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Cabe gesticulated...


1/24/2006 11:03 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Ya gotta have a twisted mind to see mutinany(?pirate talk) in a plastic fork.

Roboshrub, it's damn near poetry.

1/25/2006 12:37 AM  
Blogger Miladysa gesticulated...


My favourite quote?

"I've always contended that the world will end buried in those tiny white plastic utensils, because only the spoons are really useful."

1/25/2006 5:42 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

This is truly a post among... posts?

1/25/2006 8:35 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

My daughter had to memorize a poem in 5th grade she chose 'Jabberwocky'. We were subjected to many hours of "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves..."

It's been stuck in my head ever since.

Was Lewis Carroll really a secret agent incoding our brains w/a cryptic robotic code to turn us into mindless slaves someday?(I heard that somewhere, prob. on the internet)

1/25/2006 10:03 AM  
Blogger angel, jr. gesticulated...

This is truly a post among posts!

1/25/2006 10:50 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I heard Lewis Carroll was actually Jack the Ripper.

1/25/2006 12:04 PM  
Blogger Lee Ann gesticulated...

I cannot get the hang of Wednesdays either!!!!

1/25/2006 3:37 PM  
Anonymous Wednesday gesticulated...

I like to pretend I'm Thursday, or even Friday. Sometimes I regret getting the tatoo.

1/25/2006 9:51 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Hey...did you know that I nominated you and FAKIEFAKE for an award???? Go over and claim your tiara, man!!!!

1/25/2006 11:12 PM  
Blogger Non-Xister gesticulated...


Ha ha!

It is I, Xister, back from the future, back to tell tell you all:

Scooby-Doo is Supreme Chancellor, A.D. 34190


1/26/2006 12:45 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Jack the Ripper!! Oh my GOD, I think you are on to something!

I love exclamation points, don!t u!!

I'll prob. erause this tomorrow!! Only, EWE (whopps!) ha ha, will get the yolk!!!h

1/26/2006 1:54 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

jest kidding!!!

P.S. you really should get rid of the word verifacation, a pain in the_______!!!

I mean, if you can get rid of the flag, your smartness...

1/26/2006 2:00 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Word verification prevents comment spam. The minute I disable the filter, this blog is at risk. But I'll do it anyway, since living in fear is no way to live.

Take a lesson from this, minions of orthodoxy!

1/26/2006 10:13 AM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

Actually, several theories do point towards Lewis's involvement in the Jack the Ripper serial murders. On the other hand, it was claimed that Jack could jump ten vertical feet and breathe fire. There is little to no incriminating evidence against the beloved Logician. Although, he may have been a pedophile.

1/26/2006 11:52 AM  
Blogger Karl the Sorcerer gesticulated...

True. But what are the odds of Lewis Carroll being Jack the Ripper? The only way to know for sure would be to check the timestream.

As a sorcerer, I can do this... for a price. Anyway, you might want to take a look at the Frozen Lower Blogosphere.

It's gonna implode soon!

1/26/2006 3:20 PM  
Blogger Fred gesticulated...

The sun exploded? No wonder it's been so darned cold down here.

1/26/2006 8:50 PM  
Blogger SafeTinspector gesticulated...

The same damn thing happened when Jim Henson died. WTF!

1/27/2006 8:48 AM