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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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Cynicism to Replace Green as Third Party

Today came the official birth of the Cynics of America Party, or CAP. It is estimated to already have the support of several thousand voters, and also the rest of the population. America's two-party system has crushed the hopes of third-party voters for nearly two centuries. These centuries of repression have condensed into a palpable layer of cynicism. "I don't care that my vote doesn't really matter," said one party member, "It's that I represented myself by voting for the party that knows our votes don't matter that matters."

The CAP is rapidly converting Green-Party members to their own cause, and may overtake the Green Party in time for the 2008 presidential elections. Their campaign slogan? "Nobody for President."

"Nobody wants to dissolve the current government, but we believe instead that reforms should be made. And in twenty years, reforms should be made to fix everything we screw up," said potential running-mate Miles Grey. "Politics is a tricky business. We'd like to just screw the whole thing to hell, but instead we're fine with condemingn ourselves to a lifetime of wrongs and revolutions."

Indeed, the stir of controversy is in the air, and Grey has hinted at a serious movement towards adding a "None of the Above" option to the ballot.

"With this system, reelecetion after reelection will be held until the corporations are forced to fund actual people in their campaigns, instead of these soulless politicians."

Processing 15×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger L>T gesticulated... try this site if you haven't yet, its funny. I voted Green party for Nader

12/11/2005 10:01 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

As per the previous post, you can't make animations in Paint. What you can do is draw things in Paint, use Photoshop to create hundreds of frames, and then use an animation program to compile it all.

Or, you know, you could use Flash. But that takes forever to learn.

12/11/2005 11:40 PM  
Blogger larin von smartass gesticulated...

i enjoyed this. count me in for CAP 2008

12/12/2005 10:08 AM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Were you able to get the site. I couldn't after I pasted it. But, then again I'm not to good at this. It's grafitti from Pompeii, Pretty funny. Some day I might learn how to use the computer. Where do you find the time?

12/12/2005 10:13 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

This is SO funny, Gyrobo!!!! Your humor has bypassed the Onion, for crying out loud! I love this line:

"It's that I represented myself by voting for the party that knows our votes don't matter that matters."

You're killing me...far too much coffee is entering the recesses of my nose because of your wit! I love it!

12/12/2005 11:49 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

I'd love to take credit, but this post is pure Roboshrub Incorporated.

12/12/2005 12:00 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

What? I posted? IMPOSSIBLE!

12/12/2005 3:09 PM  
Anonymous Bethany gesticulated...

I miss Eddie, and I can't believe he didn't tell us goodbye.

12/12/2005 4:32 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Eddie actually visited my site last Friday. That was a surprise considering how many times he called me a troll!! I welcomed him with open arms...Well, I told him he was more than welcome to visit my site...

I found ROBOSHRUB, INC. through Eddie's blog! He was calling me a troll once, and Gyrobo tried to take the credit. (I understand that Gyrobo was trolling the Conservatives blog, too. However, the case in point was all about Bhakti!)

Long live Eddie! He lead me to thee!

12/12/2005 6:08 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

oh my gosh--you are right! This WAS posted by Roboshrubbery!

Well done, Roboshrubber! I LOVE THIS POST!!!!!! :)

12/12/2005 6:09 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

p.s. What happened to your sidebar. It's missing.

12/12/2005 6:10 PM  
Anonymous Salbert: Sal & Company CEO gesticulated...

Those Dems and Republicans will always reign. Just live with it people!

12/12/2005 7:39 PM  
Blogger Calzone gesticulated...

You crazy robot....what will you think of next?

12/12/2005 7:40 PM  
Blogger flatlander gesticulated...

I nominate Calzone for CAP running-dragon.

12/12/2005 8:15 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Just you wait... I've got a real barn-burner that'll be posted in exactly 78 minutes.

12/12/2005 8:41 PM