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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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Ship In A Bottle

It occured to me the other day, while I was attending to the botany labs, that shipbuilding is an ancient practice. It not an art, but a science. However, a Ship in a Bottle is artwork. How did this tradition get started? I assume it was a practical joke (granted, not a very funny one, but a joke none the less). Whoever saw the ship inside the bottle would wonder how it got inside. Clearly, it is an articulate, time-consuming, tedious chore for people with nothing better to do with poor senses of humour.

But what if the ship were full sized? It would be built without tweezers and such by human workers inside the bottle. And that's when the gears clicked into place.

As I've reiterated many times, Roboshrub Incorporated is dedicated to taking unfeasible ideas and following them to their natural extensions. It's been a while since a restaurant caught my attention, the last one having been a converted ship in Mexico, attached to a dock with the floor missing in a section, revealing a pen full of wild sharks. It served seafood. So I begin thinking, and my train of thought goes something like this:

What if a full size ship were afloat, anchored down, in just over 20 feet of seawater. An authentic ship, made from good old wood and steel, in authentic salt water with local marine life. Not only that, but all of this is inside a giant glass bottle, submerged at least partially underwater and tilted upwards, so that the mouth is just above the surface. Fresh water would be pumped in biweekly.

The only problems I can forsee are thus:
1) The cost and sheer inconvenience involved in moving that much glass. Perhaps a high-density plastic could be used instead.
2) The size of the entire apparatus: it needs to contain enough water to displace the ship. The fact that it is salt water will help; the solution is more dense than freshwater.
3) Safety regulations.

Processing 10×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger L>T gesticulated...

All I envision is the sun hitting it just right & cooking everyone inside. What a sweat box it would be in there.
& think of the poor birds smacking into the glass all the time.

11/21/2005 12:48 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

Can't... read... too... sick...

I'll get to all this tomorrow. Have fun.

11/21/2005 7:51 AM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Where the hell are you going to find tweezers big enough to build said ship?????

p.s. Hope you feel better! :)

p.p.s. What the heck is the deal with Flatlander?? Last post?? I'm depressed!

11/21/2005 2:24 PM  
Blogger Adjuster gesticulated...

Flatlander's just bluffing.

I was witness to the aftermath of a "greenhouse effect" disaster in a life-size ship-in-a-bottle/restaurant off the coast of Peru a few years ago.

Suffice to say, it wasn't a pretty sight, and the customers weren't easy to clean off the upholstry.

Luckily, they had a decent Endtime Shipbuilder's Insurance Plan, supplied by Yours Truly.

11/21/2005 4:45 PM  
Blogger L>T gesticulated...

Gyrobo, I am concerned . Can I get you a oil can or something? Fresh batteries?
bhakti, we don't want his batteries to run down.
I will not even gloat about 1023 to 905.
Do not leave us like Flatlander!

11/21/2005 4:50 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

Hah. I have less than 150 profile veiws, because I'm overall less active (and interesting) than Gyrobo.

What a monster I've made...

11/21/2005 5:48 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

Hey Big-Plastic-Red-Head-Adjuster-Man: Where the heck were you when I was turned into the bionic woman?? I could have used some 'end of the world' insurance! (Actually, would the end of my life be considered the end of the world? Yes, I would think so...)

L>T Batteries?? Avatars don't run on batteries...we run on FAITH! (I hated Star Wars...I liked Grease--COME ON, I WAS SEVEN!!) None the less: GYROBO--MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!

2000...Gloating? Uummm...I just hit 2000, but I'm not one to gloat...2000...

11/21/2005 5:54 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...'re talking about PROFILE VIEWS?? Oh...uh...oops...I only have 350 people interested in Swami Bhaktananda. BUT MY NEWLY DESIGNED AVATAR WILL PULL IN MORE VICTIMS FOR SURE!!!

(Oh my gosh...I get it now...this site has stolen my brain!)

11/21/2005 5:56 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

Geez, we put warning labels on it, you know.

By the way, Bionic Woman, I'm granting you honorary robot status, even though there is no actual CPU in your body.


11/21/2005 6:08 PM  
Blogger Bhakti gesticulated...

"Honorary Robot Status", that is just TOO cool!

I, in return for this lovely deed, am granting you honorary swami status, even though you (most likely) don't have a dot on your head.

11/21/2005 7:15 PM