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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.




In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department






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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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10.24.2005

Public Service Announcement

Evil Bob Dole has escaped his confinement in the Frozen Lower Blogosphere. We here at Roboshrub Incorporated are working 24 hours a day and at LEAST five days a week to bring him down and return him to a facility away from the public. Hopefully this will be accomplished before he can deal much damage to our well-fabricated and comfortable society.

From his location, as of yet unknown, though he is suspected to be somewhere underground in the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, the E.B.D is lurking and plotting. High Lord Executioner Gyrobo has also devoted his efforts to nuetralizing this fiend before he causes any harm. However, the two have agreed to participate in a fair ELECTION, campaigning in the Frozen Lower Blogosphere.

There are three ways you can help us defeat this menace:
1) Support the Children of the Lower Blogosphere. It is the political party under which my Right, Honourable Friend Gyrobo shall combat the Evil Party. The campaign is just kicking off, so show your support in the form of donations and jibes/jeers towards the opposing party.
2) Keep safe. Stay away from windows and doors in both public places and at home. Also, avoid fire hydrants at all costs.
3) Report any information on the whereabouts of Evil Bob Dole here, or if you prefer confidentiality, at roboshrub@gmail.com .

Remember that your safety is our topmost priority. These are hard times, but everything will be fine again soon.

Processing 5×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

The Anonymi is working tirelessly to make this the bestest campaign week ever.

--==/ Vote! Vote! Vote! \==--

10/24/2005 10:21 PM  
Blogger Evil Rev. Jesse Jackson gesticulated...

Someone is committing horrible, racist crimes against the Evil peoples, like me, flagging my weblog and getting me all but eliminated from the blogosphere.

Only the robotic supporters would stoop that low. And if I even hear a word about evil vote suppression, or election fraud, there's gonna be hell to pay.
Stop the oppression -EBD '05.

10/24/2005 10:34 PM  
Blogger His Majesty gesticulated...

Glad to have your support, fellow Evil citizen.

The Evil Party supports genuine American values. Do the Children of the Lower Blogosphere? No! Their antidisestablishmentarianist attitudes will destroy society!

10/24/2005 10:40 PM  
Blogger Bob Dole gesticulated...

Bob Dole thinks you should vote Independent. Bob Dole nominates DestructoBob. Bob Dole will vote for him!

10/24/2005 11:26 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

1) Robots are even more of a minority than those of the Evil persuasion. There has never been a robotic national leader (unless you count Hamilton, who never led from the forefront), whereas almost all of them have been evil. Exactly who is supressing who?

2) E.B.D., your audience doesn't care about American values, they care about Frozenlowerblogospherian values.

3) Destructobob is androgynous, if not female.

10/25/2005 6:08 PM