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Mountain of Flies

Gyrobo's spirited tale of failing to overcome the elements reminded me of my own escapades in Yosemite Park, California. It is a land untouched by time, though it has been scoured by the RVs of modern culture. We had to follow safety precautions to avoid bear attacks and cook our own food over a primitive petrol-powered grill. Pitching tent in Touleme meadows at the age of perhaps eight was one of my first great adventures.

As it turned out, the second great adventure was that of finding the showers. Armed with only a map and a keen first-grade education, I tackled several miles of wilderness without adult supervision. Of course, my father knew where I was headed. He just didn't realize how mind-bogglingly far it was. It was Woodstock all over again; he panicked when I hadn't come back in an hour. Luckily, he found me along a major road by the general store about halfway along the trip. My father has never showered since (to my knowledge).

Of course, that's not the end of my story. We also went to climb a large and dome-shaped mountain. We didn't get very far. The thickest swarm of flies I have ever seen (or, in this case, NOT seen, as I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, and shortly thereafter that hand began to swat because my eyes had been hit with their abnormally large fly-bodies). I'm telling you, they were vicious. They bought. I mean, they bit. Both literally and figuratively speaking. Not only that, but my father and I, sly devils we were, were covered in head to tail in poisons to deter their attacks- but to no avail! Yosemite flies are immune to everything. They even have resistance to sound attacks!! NO ONE HAS RESISTANCE TO SOUND ATTACKS!

The funny thing about this post is, you'll all assume when I tell you that I've been to Cozumel, Isle Mujeres, Costa Rica, Yosemite, the Yucatan and Japan, you won't believe me. But it's true. Oh well, boy who cried lasers, and all that.

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Blogger Gyrobo gesticulated...

A story whose amazingness is matched only by its inability to comprehend itself.

I mean, what?

10/16/2005 10:01 PM