-Former High Lord Executioner, Gyrobo
You may or may not realize how important relations with the Frozen Lower Blogosphere are to Roboshrub Incorporated. Just in case, I'll inform you: IT'S DAMN IMPORTANT. RSI is an organization based on the extrapolation of good ideas from bad ones through a process we call "imadnization." Where do bad ideas come from? Blogs. The most easily discardable float to the bottom. Therefore, the depths of the Blogosphere contain the highest level of salvagable resources. Having Gyrobo as High Lord Executioner was extremely convenient, due to his lack of adherence to United Blogging Society mandates about extraction levels allowable. But Evil Bob Dole adheres to these widely-accepted standards, which as an outrage and an affront to all we hold dear.
Imadnization is a taxing process, but a rewarding one for the human and robot races. Without continued cooperation between Roboshrub Incorporated and the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, the world may have to move on without ant-powered sentient computers and bee-frog chimeras. The populace in general may never know the wonders of the nuclear umbrella, or the omelette-flavored lollipop. And if that happens, chaos theory comes into play- billions of thoughts will never be thought. The fate of the world literally rested upon this election.
And we blew it.
We really blew it.
Evil Bob Dole won, despite the best efforts of the Robot constituency. And now, our world is doomed to mediocrity; everything that passes from here on is just a shade of what might have been.
Reporting for, perhaps, the last time,
P.S.: Clearance Sale this weekend! Everything must go!