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Ten thousand years of Roboshrub.

Fangs for the memories.

In today’s state, Roboshrub Incorporated is an entity entirely devoted
to the execution of what normal people would refer to as “bad ideas.”

It was the creator’s original idea that all concepts, whether
useful or not, contribute to the global subconscious level of progress
for the human race. Therefore, we contend that no idea is an unfit
idea, and vow to act on each and every one of them.

Roboshrub Inc.
Public Communications Department

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For your insolence, I condemn you to...

Suffer the Fate of a Thousand Bees!
(Before they go extinct)

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All is Lost.

"If we do not succeed, we run the risk of failure!"
-Former High Lord Executioner, Gyrobo

You may or may not realize how important relations with the Frozen Lower Blogosphere are to Roboshrub Incorporated. Just in case, I'll inform you: IT'S DAMN IMPORTANT. RSI is an organization based on the extrapolation of good ideas from bad ones through a process we call "imadnization." Where do bad ideas come from? Blogs. The most easily discardable float to the bottom. Therefore, the depths of the Blogosphere contain the highest level of salvagable resources. Having Gyrobo as High Lord Executioner was extremely convenient, due to his lack of adherence to United Blogging Society mandates about extraction levels allowable. But Evil Bob Dole adheres to these widely-accepted standards, which as an outrage and an affront to all we hold dear.

Imadnization is a taxing process, but a rewarding one for the human and robot races. Without continued cooperation between Roboshrub Incorporated and the Frozen Lower Blogosphere, the world may have to move on without ant-powered sentient computers and bee-frog chimeras. The populace in general may never know the wonders of the nuclear umbrella, or the omelette-flavored lollipop. And if that happens, chaos theory comes into play- billions of thoughts will never be thought. The fate of the world literally rested upon this election.

And we blew it.

We really blew it.

Evil Bob Dole won, despite the best efforts of the Robot constituency. And now, our world is doomed to mediocrity; everything that passes from here on is just a shade of what might have been.

Reporting for, perhaps, the last time,
Roboshrub Incorporated

P.S.: Clearance Sale this weekend! Everything must go!

Processing 3×100 Robo-Comments:

Blogger Cabe gesticulated...

Awww =(

Don't worry I'm sure Evil Bob Dole will give you a tax break.

10/28/2005 11:16 PM  
Blogger Roboshrub Incorporated gesticulated...

I doubt it. Evil Bob Dole hates the Cryptopolitic Intelligentsia. And robots. And freedom of thought.

10/28/2005 11:26 PM  
Blogger Bob Dole gesticulated...

Bob Dole says give Evil Bob Dole a chance.

10/28/2005 11:32 PM